Is it normal to feel the way i do, after what i've been through

87% Normal
2 Comments

Okay lets get this over and done with.
I come from a wealthy, family who have spoiled me materialistically. My Dad is a very angry man, he has been in prison three times, drinks too much, breaks everything he gets annoyed with, and when I was younger (6 years old?) he strangled me, and hit me ect. Both of my parents were emotionally abusive, calling me names such as "Idiot" "Cunt" or "Fucking twat" ect. Also when I was about eight my parents pinned me to the ground and pulled back my foreskin, causing me to cry in pain. I've never pulled it back since (now 16).
When I was about nine, my next door neighbors kid, who was a few years older then me raped me every day for months, until we moved house. (We move house a lot, due to my Dad's business).
By the age of 11 I began to hate everyone, and became really snobby, basing my views off of money, and prices, I also became top musician at my school. when I was 14 i met a girl in my music class, and we occasionally talked, i started to like her. A year and a half later we started talking online a lot, and she told me she was Gay and had major depression. After that i helped her everyday, but she refused to talk to me in real life anymore as it was too awkward. after 2 months of helping her I fell in love with her, and we both went to therapy for depression. I told her my feelings and things turned very awkward for a few months. She attempted suicide but failed, and eventually we both moved on to different colleges. its been about 3 months since I started college, and although I am friendly with loads of people, I generally avoid them, as I prefer being a loner. I still occasionally talk to the girl i loved, she started to get better but she's getting worse again. I quit therapy just before I left school, as it didn't help. However I am depressed, and almost suicidal (think about suicide a lot) , I hate nearly everyone, and I still love the girl. Am I justified to feel this way? In short - I was emotionally,physically and sexually abused by parents, raped multiple times and fell in love with a suicidal lesbian.

Voting Results
87% Normal
Based on 15 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    It's def normal to feel the way you do and I admire that you have been through all that and still manage to live day by day. That just proves you're a very strong person and i'm sure you're going to make it far in life and become someone successful. If I were you, I would try to separate myself (but not isolate) from my family a bit and try to build a new life. Go out and meet positive people. You don't need people who are negative in your life. Even though you might love that girl, there's going to be someone else out there for you. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. Coming on here for advice shows that you don't want to be in the position you're in. When you surround yourself by negative energy, you attract negativeness in your life.

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  • AngAnders112
    12 years ago

    yes! I haven't gone through nearly half of what you've been through and yet I've felt the sme way most of my life. don't know how you do it. regardless of how you feel, you haven't given in and to me that makes you a strong person!

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