Is it normal to feel that my body is my worst enemy?

My body is weird. I have to sit on the can 12 hours a day. My legs get numb but you know how it feels when you need to take a dump

Many times people go three a bad time with their health, but often it improves and is great for years after that! Eat right, live right, exercise and it will pass

I know the feeling. But I too tend to blame my brain on a lot of it. It's a vicious cycle at times. I have a lot of trouble with food and the wrong balance makes me ill, then my brain worries about it and makes it worse.

It isn't your body that is making you suffer. But maybe you feel deserving of it for some reason. Just remember that, in general, your body wants to be healthy. The symptoms are just indicators that something isn't quite right. Figuring it out can take a lifetime.

Be good to yourself and good luck.

Ahh, I feel sorry for you. I've just come through an extended period of ill-health (nothing in particular, just one thing after another) and at times it's tempting to feel you're being punished. I most particularly think it about my brain. As is well-known by now, I suffer from insomnia. What is less well-known is that I also have a condition where when I've been without sleep for many nights and even insomnia wouldn't keep me awake, every time I begin to fall asleep, my brain stabs me with a sharp, sudden panic attack a bit like a mini heart-attack that leaves me very close to being sick. It's like torture being able to finally sleep but having a brain with a sharp stick wanting to poke me awake again. At its worst, it has happened up to a hundred times a night and at its very worst I considered suicide just to get some rest.

Part of me honestly believes that my brain is punishing me because my life turned out okay in the end and it's not what was "supposed" to happen. The biggest things that brought me down, I flushed away from my life. I've got rid of negative influences and now I almost want them back because my brain is worse than they were. It seems very cruel somehow. This is probably just me trying to justify things from within myself as opposed to listening to other people's opinions.

As for the ill-health, I have made more changes to how I live my life in the past three months than at any other stage in my life. I treated the health concerns as an increasingly serious warning. There's been no miracle turnaround (I didn't expect one) but there is progress and that's all I can ask for. In your case, your problems don't seem to be self-inflicted (as many of mine were) and so it's difficult to know what you could do to avoid it. I don't think you're being punished but for obvious reasons above, I've felt the same and know how you feel. Make sure you get proper care for the physical symptoms and don't forget to look after your mental wellbeing. Don't get in a rut. Do little things that make you happy. Feeling a victim can be part of that. I know it's the last thing you want to hear when you feel unwell and at times I've wanted to swing for those perma-tanned big-toothed nincompoops with a "positive mental attitude" mantra but on a smaller scale, it really can make a difference.