Is it normal to feel so sexually unattractive because of my race?

50% Normal
11 Comments

Well, i'm a 21 year old black, female, college student. . . and I'm a virgin! I'm damn near 22 and haven't had so much as a first kiss. I know for a fact that, it stems from a lack of self respect for both myself, my body, and more sadly, my skin color. I mean men have approached me, and i've even been on the cusp of losing it, but I just can't take the leap because of inward obstacles. The worse part of the issue is that, since i've had no self respect for pretty much my entire teen/adult life, I have a warped, preconceived notion about men and the way they see me. Basically put, I've held on to an ideal of what I would like a relationship to be and Im afraid that when I do enter one (if fucking ever) my fears that i'm this unlovable, ugly, despicable, black girl, will be affirmed. A lot of my fear stems from my race. On the surface friends and family see this strong women but I know the truth and its painful to be alone with it. I'm an educated african american and because of the distinction, people put a lot of emphasis on my race, which singles me out and ultimately has created this self aware, self conscious individual. I have my reserves about black men because i've only been approached by the wrong kind and I can't seem to find a good one. I have reserves about white men because I have this idea that i'm not considered good enough in their perspective and/or have also been approached by the wrong kind. All men in between fall under either one of these two categories. By the wrong men, I don't mean working at burger king etc., I respect a man who gets his ass up and goes to work even if it is flipping burgers. I mean, get with me for the wrong reasons (mainly their looking for a mommy to support them) A man's race isn't and issue as long as he's good to me. Now the older I get, the more embarrassed I am of running from a relationship. I guess i'm mostly afraid of not being good enough, or ending up with someone, I dare say, who's not good enough for me, because I lack the confidence to tell the difference. It's at the point where i'm seeking perspective from complete strangers, so. . . it's pretty bad.

Voting Results
50% Normal
Based on 58 votes (29 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 11 )
  • donotmockme
    9 years ago

    I bet you're gorgeous and there's no rush to grab a date. :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Black women are very attractive I'm super cereal. I would eat a bowl of cereal with you and talk about the weather.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • CrimsonDeadly
    9 years ago

    Personality is way more important than looks anyday and you seem like a nice girl who's heads screwed on. Definitely mature. I've always said "Would you rather love someone's looks, or someone?"

    I mean of course, that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you but more so to do with others, or at least your opinion of what others might be thinking? I dunno how to describe that bit so I hope you understand me.

    Basically, if a man likes you based on your looks, he isn't worth it anyways in the long-term side of things. In all honesty you should have more confidence, simply because you're a woman... I know that sounds weird but what I mean is they say "Pussy Power" for a reason... A woman can get anything they want if they truly wanted to... I can guarantee if you walked up to a guy and said "Let's fuck", he'd follow immediately lol.

    I don't mean any disrespect btw, if you do feel that way at any point... But this stuff is true haha

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • IIN2?uestionlife
    9 years ago

    You shouldnt be ashamed you should be proud of what and who you are and use it to your advantage. I kno it might be easier said than done but put your mind to it, no one is better/not good enough for anyone where all the same and have the same chances. Just have to change your mind set.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • BlueJeansWhiteShirt
    9 years ago

    I find it incredibly sad that you feel this, because you shouldn't feel insignificant, especially because of your race. I'm sure you are a very attractive, intelligent lady with a lot going for her. There's plenty of black women who I would do anything to look like.

    Think about it logically. You're only 21. Who even finds the right man at 21 years old? A very small percentage of people. Relationships and dating aren't all that either, there's plenty more to life. Remember, know your worth and don't settle for anything less just because you feel a bit lonely. Again, you are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. There is beauty in every race.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • AppleMind
    9 years ago

    You seem to have a nice brain. For that fact and that fact alone, you are attractive.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • handsignals
    9 years ago

    http://memeshare.net/memes/14/13620.png

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Tommythecat.
    9 years ago

    Just don't go on a shooting spree like that wanker virgin did awhile back.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Mersaphe
    9 years ago

    You're only 21/22 that's young...you have time to think things through. Meanwhile enjoy life. And nobody should feel unattractive because of their race. I even hate using the word race...it's such a misleading word because all humans belong to the same race. Two members of the same race are biologically capable of mating and producing offspring. We're all a part of the human race, just different ethnicities. The superficial differences we see that separate us are due to either cultural factors or thousands of years of evolution/adaptation. All of our physical characteristics came about as a result of adapting to the climate and geography of the parts of the world where our ancestors came from. There's nothing to be ashamed in that. We're all unique and special in our own way. We're all humans and we all deserve respect and the right to love and be loved. As Martin Luther King Jr said, I judge not by the color of one's skin but by the content of one's character.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    play it up big time wear pastels & smile coz u look fine

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • SuperBenzid
    9 years ago

    It sounds like it could be better to spend some time around a good group of guy and girls. That way you could find a guy you were more comfortable with to date and also realize that there are people that will like you for who you are. That you are worth respect. Maybe find an activity or hobby to do that. I found that was a good way to gain confidence in my own life.

    I hope it gets better for you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0