Is it normal to feel so jealous of an ex?

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5 Comments

Sorry for the mini-essay but...

Me and my ex were together for about a year and a half. It was really good at the beginning. Then, I started a PGCE course, which was so demanding. It was hell, actually. For us both. The worst 9 months of my life. I basically had no time for anyone and was always exhausted/pissed off/crying and couldn't do anything about it. When the course ended I was ill for weeks because of the relentless strain I was under. The weeks that I desperately wanted to spend time with him.

Needless to say, all this made our relationship ridiculously difficult. We split up in July. I made the call, but he admitted he wanted it too. I was due to leave the UK for about 5 months to go traveling and we were both happy with this.

However, literally days after we split a photo appeared on his profile of him hanging out with a girl and his mate. Not long after that, she started posting relentlessly on his wall. One was "something like 'yay, yay, yay!" a few days after we split. It felt like she was celebrating we were over, and doing it publicly as well. Since then it has been a lot of flirty messages and attention-seeking from her. She also tagged him in posts with friends saying that she loved him. There was nothing coming from his side, though. He also said he was seeing her casually, but had told her he wasn't looking for anything serious as he'd just broken up with me.

I don't mind that he's moved on. I want him to be happy... it's just that it is with someone who is so damned tacky and has been bragging about what she is doing literally since we split.

Also, I found out that she had been stalking him for months and left her last bf of 4 years (he was abusive and called her names) to be with him, even though he didn't know that was what she was doing. She also asked him if he had a gf (it was on his profile, but she had never met me) and also asked him out for a drink. He refused as he wasn't single at the time.

By coincidence we split not long after that, which was obviously perfect timing for her and fit in well with her plan.

I'm so insulted that he is dating this girl was desperately trying to break us up when we were already going through hell. She is fat and ugly, to boot. I hear now that he is properly in a relationship with her. Wtf is with that?

He wants to stay friends, though, and was always sending messages to see how I am and stuff. He also wants to meet up over xmas. Not sure if this is a good idea. The only reason I'd like to see him would be to annoy her as I hear she is jealous we are still friends.

I don't want him back, I just want to wind her up, but do it subtly.

I am normally a level-headed person, but this has really driven me up the wall. And, no, he is no longer on my facebook page. Whoop!

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80% Normal
Based on 56 votes (45 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Karmasbitch
    10 years ago

    Jealousy is a normal feeling after a split. Absolutely. I completely understand that, however, meeting up with him with the intentions of only annoying his new girl, sounds a bit immature. I understand that she is being over the top and was intrusive, but I wouldn't sink to that level. I would communicate like an adult with your ex, explain your concerns and move on.
    Good luck =]

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  • Maybeoneday
    10 years ago

    I think the relationship they have is bound to sink so why mess with it anymore? If she get's jealous at your friendship, who cares. Don't try to screw with it solely because you want her to get jealous. I'm in the same situation and I honestly don't care what she thinks. I don't hangout with him to get back at her, I just talk to him because we're friends.

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  • jeebley
    10 years ago

    Yeh, I think you would just have to act normally and that would wind her up anyway, without you really trying to have that effect. You should definitely do that. She sounds like a bit of a crazy.

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  • Zebedee
    10 years ago

    Thanks, everyone, for your replies so far. They made me feel better.

    No, I wasn't planning on messing with their relationship or anything - that would be nuts! I will just catch up with him when I get back at xmas and hang out/do the stuff we never had time for when I was too busy. I won't hang out with him just to annoy her, but I'd just do what I would do if she wasn't there.

    It does really hurt, though. I would never treat anyone like that and I hope karma catches up with her soon.

    Has anyone been in a similiar situation and seen how it turned out in the end?

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    She sounds like a psycho bitch. Don't waste your energy on trying to make her jealous because then you'll end up looking like the crazy one and you don't want that.

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