Is it normal to feel so hopeless?

83% Normal
7 Comments

I'm a 19 year old girl and I live at home with my mum and her partner. I've been unemployed for nearly 3 months now so I'm living off of jobseeker benefits and rely on my mum for food and accomadation obviously.

I left school almost three years ago and since then have been working on-off (just whatever jobs I can get really). I did want to proceed to university but I left school in my final year (staying on and finishing would have been the only way to up my grades enough to get into university).

However I am applying for this summer course which, if I pass, will get me into my first year at uni after summer.

The problem is though, that I am so unhappy with my life at the moment. I know it's nobody else's fault but I get up between 12-2pm and always find something to occupy me until the wee hours of the morning so I don't go to bed early. It's become this vicious cycle. When I do wake up, I always feel really down and wish I could just sleep forever.

The few friends I have live out of town now that they're at university, and I can't afford to see them. I can't afford to do anything! I can't buy new clothes either, which I know sounds superficial of me but I'm a young girl and I want to look good, y'know?

I apply for at least 3 jobs a week. My lack of experience seems to be hindering every chance I have though. I've not had even ONE interview.

I feel like life will never improve. I'm looking forward to going back to school but it's not even confirmed yet and it's in just over a month. This also causes problems with job-seeking because I have to find something I can fit around summer school, which is two full days a week.

Sometimes I feel like i'm not even a real person, or worth having a life. I've been depressed in the past and I realise that it's rearing its ugly head again because of my situation.

I hate my life. I don't even like living with my mum because I really detest her partner and he makes me feel uncomfortable because he's so controlling and watchful. I'm grateful that I'm getting a roof over my head for free but still; do most people live a life they don't enjoy? And if so, surely it's not right, considering you only live once. I'm a right moaner, I know, but I needed to vent this somewhere...

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 42 votes (35 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Ronin-San
    13 years ago

    Sadly I'm a fucking guy and I'm doing more or less the same thing, the differences are

    I live with my dad

    He has no partner

    He annoys the fuck out of me constantly during the summers (even though I go to school in the spring and fall) to get a job and even when I try its never quick enough for him.

    I'm 21

    I'm male

    It's a rough life =( And living in a small town my options in jobs are very limited so its hard to find a job that is in any way even remotely fulfilling. So even when I do get jobs it just feels like endless repetition for money...I hate it.

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  • will.i.am
    13 years ago

    I think me and you are the same person or live the same life because everything you described is exactly what I am going through now. To the T everything that your going through is the exact same for me and I feel exactly how you feel. :(

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  • Scarlett01
    14 years ago

    I disagree with cbt729. You probably r depressed because of your situation but medication isn't the answer (unless your suicidal). Get outside and stay busy. Find ways to get out of your moms house and away from the watchful eye of the creepy boyfriend.

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  • cbt729
    14 years ago

    I think it would be in your best interest to see a dr. It sounds like you're seriously depressed which can hinder your life.

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  • macaroni
    14 years ago

    You should try to get a rx for sleep meds, they have helped me get back in a great routine and have allowed me to be more motivated!! Good luck !

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  • toekneeee
    14 years ago

    Keep trying ;)

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    I hear you there, I'm 23 jobless and don't even have a lisence. It sucks. Things will get better for you, it just takes time. Also if u want a place to vent, go to: www.foreverdita.com

    It's a really good site to have a "diary" on where people can comment and help or give advice. :-)

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