Is it normal to feel so down over this?

67% Normal
5 Comments

I feel like I've never really dated. I am 22 and a virgin. I have an ex who I dated for over 2 years in my late teens, but we never got fully intimate. She had personal reasons for that and I respected that. Since we broke up, a few years ago by now, I have heard about her life on-and-off through friends and family who still know her. It makes me feel betrayed. I feel like she never really had any feelings for me with the way she treated me compared to how she treated her friends. I have not felt fully attracted to another woman since, and I have not really done much with my life. I had a job briefly and I finished my degree, but nothing special.
For some reason, all the nitpicks she made at me when we were dating (on how I act, or how I look) have come back to haunt me. I feel terribly insecure about these things but I try to hide it. I feel like she was never really attracted to me and that's why she moved on so easily and treated me so coldly for months.
When I'm alone I find myself mumbling to myself about how much I hate myself.

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 30 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • flowergirl87
    10 years ago

    Oh dear! :( First off, you're 22, so don't worry about having not done much with your life! That's totally normal. It sounds like you had real feelings for this girl. But it's disturbing to hear how she'd put you down. That's not on. Consider that it could be her problem - as in, she's insecure so was putting you down. Some people do that. Please don't let that shape your opinion of yourself now. Be honest with yourself and think about how you could grow as a person and move on. Think about your good characteristics, think about the things you're good at. Heck, even write them down - you might feel silly but just do it anyway. Work on developing your own confidence in your own time. Go through this period of growth and nurture yourself (I hope this makes sense) and you will be better off for it. And any future relationship will be better off for it too. You'll make a great partner for someone special who deserves you and whom you deserve. Good luck.

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  • Paradiddle
    10 years ago

    When I first started reading this, I was about to start my "You won't believe how common this is, normal!" speech but it seems that isn't quite the story I thought it was going to be. This girl may have liked you enough to go with you but from what I'm hearing, she treated you badly for a good while before you two finally ended it. However, it would be great if you could not feel down about yourself. It sounds like SHE was the one being cold and untruthful, it just so happens that you probably had more positive feelings for her than she did for you. I'm quite sure that by now, she isn't a famous person on TV nor has accomplished a cure for cancer. For you, this girl sounded like a plague and its good that you two are separate so you can focus on enjoying you and your hobbies.

    I can guarantee you that she isn't worrying/thinking about the past so you don't have to be either. The best way to get back at her is to keep that chin up and enjoy life however laid back you want with a smile on your face.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Yuo'll find the right girl.

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    • handsignals
      10 years ago

      In a brothel.

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  • DarkBlue
    10 years ago

    Forget about her my friend! I just hate those people who mess others up and then move on so easily. We all went through the same thing. As hard as it sounds, just forget about her and move on.

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