Is it normal to feel so awful?

Replacing this need, has to be replaced with something new. Your worth saving, and quite special! Good luck with your choices!

I hope you feel better.

See a doctor, it can be incredibly daunting but they will help. In the meantime try putting a rubber band around your wrist and ping it every time you feel the need to cut.

It sounds like you have have depression. I used to cut but not in the traditional sense. I used dental floss and rubbed ravines into my gums. It started as a accident but it became almost and addiction because I loved the way it felt. I know I can be rather masochistic. Anyway, the biggest problem came from the fact it left lines on the sides of my mouth. This was during the summer of '08 and The Dark Knight had just come out. It was horrible timing because the kids at my camp would ask if I was trying to be like the Joker. Friends and a few counsellors took me aside/told me that if something was going on that I could always confide in them. Even my dentist became concerned so, needless to say, I HAD to stop. I don't want to think about problems that could have happened if they thought I was being abused and decided to report it. I realise that my situation is slightly different but I think you should see a therapist or join a self-harm program.

Good Luck!

Seek professional help would be my best advice. I have never self harmed but I did struggle with depression for awhile, and it is incredibly difficult to get out of those thought patterns without someone to talk to in real life, real time, that you trust.

If you're religious like me, prayers are also a great comfort. God has a reason for everything.

But seek help as soon as may be. These things are so destructive and unhealthy. And when you question yourself and think badly of yourself, it is nearly impossible to be strong for yourself. Find someone to help you, preferably a professional.

No. I wish I could meet every person like you and help you in person, but obviously that's impossible. Talk about your feelings with a close friend. If that's awkward for you, just try as hard as you can to be as straight up with them as possible. Spill your guts. It feels really good to talk to someone about your problems. Spirituality helped me out with my depression back in high school. Not religion per se. Learn about meditation. Ever since I've followed the path of spirituality, I haven't been depressed again, and it has also given me a moral compass. It has made me look at life differently, and for the better.

There's a reason for everything, and I promise you that no matter how low things get or how shitty you feel, things will get better.

I've also cut. I suffer from chronic depression. I hate me, and would welcome death. Maybe there's an antidepressant out there that would work for you. Maybe something as simple as discovering a hobby that you are awesome at would help. Either way, seek help.

I once had a girlfriend who started cutting at a young age. Her arms were so messed up that her forearms were basically just pure scar tissue. She literally disfigured herself. There was nothing I could do to help her. She basically pushed everyone away. Sadly her family just gave up and said she was just crying wolf and liked the attention.

Take up kick boxing or something like that. Think about all the people who are dying from cancer or malaria who would do anything to have a healthy body. You are taking your body for granted.

A lot of people are in the same boat as you, or have been in the past, see:

http://isitnormal.com/poll/have-you-ever-self-harmed-108408/

That links to a nice and supportive article with ideas on how to overcome self-harm and the underlying causes here:

http://www.mind.org.uk/mental_health_a-z/8006_understanding_self-harm

Give it a read. Good luck :)

Sounds like depression to me. In addition to seeking professional help, I'd suggest the book "The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program To Beat Depression Without Drugs". It's based on actual scientific evidence and it helped me a lot.