Is it normal to feel so apathetic about everything that benefits me

Since you want a peaceful resolution with your mum, ask her what she thinks you could do to improve. Make it clear that you need her help. Be prepared that she might not be nice about it at first, especially if she's been saying attention-getting things like "you never succeed". I think that if you show her that you are willing to accept whatever she says without being defensive about it, then she'll come around and be willing to give you some constructive help.

Many people live an apathetic existence from young ages and sometimes for their entire lives. You may just be realizing now because you are losing the security of your mother and her wishes. Though remember these are hard economic times and you say you cannot support yourself or even take care of yourself and I am not sure how old you are, but that might be why your mother is stressed and unfortunately for you, not coping with it? If I were you, I would try to consider the important things family have been for you and cherish them. Many in this world are apathetic because they have no parents and haven't since yonug ages. As I have been in a similar situation to you many times, my advice would be to let your mum know that you understand her own emotion, take the initiative to first consider her daily routine, what emotions she had during the day, what the stimulations are of them, and find a way by this to help her know that you care, respect and want to make her proud. You may be surprised at how warm and satisfying that can be; when I was emotionally the way you describe you are, I had to realise adulthood is self survival and along with that comes the understanding of how hard it must be for parents.

Tell her, look, I need you to be more supportive, If I fail, then think about it, one of those little reasons would be because you never encouraged me when I am struggling the most. And when she says, 'you ungrateful, blah, blah, blah' Tell her, no I am greatful for the good in you, but I'm not gona lie, I am not greatful for the bad in you. Then walk away!!! Leave the house, let it cool down, polite silent treatment, this will giver her time to think a little. She will change.

And realistically, she is not the only one that can help you out of a hole. By what you described, you are not in a hole, just having a bad time communicating with your mother. A hole would be her chucking you out at 13 with plastic bin bags and telling you to go find your own way in life. There will come a time that you will realise that the purpose of being an adult is to survive independently of the parent. Unfortunately, many adults do not realise that and remain in an infantile state (google infantilization). But it is wonderfully satisfying to be independent.

sounds like youre not so priviledged after all