Is it normal to feel resentment and jealousy? what should i do?

My husband and I have been together for 2 years. We have been married for 1 year. We both have children from previous marriages. I have a 10 and 12 yr old. He has a 14 yr old girl and a 16 yr old boy. We have a long distance relationship. He lives in the USA and I live in Canada. Before committing to this relationship, my husband has confirmed that it would not be a problem for him to move to Canada and we were working on plans to do this.

It has been a great weekend long distance relationship for all of us. I have my kids on the weekend and he has his kids every other weekend. We see each other every weekend. He comes up whenever he doesn't have the kids, I come done once a month and his kids come up once a month. Before I came along he had his kids every other weekend. But custody changed as the kids did not get along with stepdad. Things were fun for us and I made him and our family a priority. This was a picture perfect weekend blended family.

Fast forward 2 years, immigration papers have gone through. Biological mom refuse to sign immigration papers for the kids. There was no fight about it from my husband or the kids so I let it be. Since then, my stepdaughter wanted to live with her dad full time. She does not like her stepdad and felt her mom was not helping, she was sad and depressed there. After one year of this, my husband suggested that they give her what she needed to feel better and took her full time. I was fine with him having her more and I thought eventually we would fight and get both of them to move up. I didn't realized that this was going to be 100% full-time where she doesn't even go to her mom's for even supper, not even a walk! It has been 4 months and she refuses to see her mom. They text and chat every day but that is all. It has put a real strain on our relationship since she wants to live with her dad full-time but does not want to move to Canada. The brother wants to go into US military and due to his age, we knew he was not moving. He gets along with everyone.

My stepdaughter decision has really affected our marriage and we are at the brinks of divorce. I can not move because I have everything in Canada including my professional career, my kids, family, friends, ex-husband. It was also a term i set out when we first met that moving was not a possibility for me.

The stress has made my husband say that he chooses his daughter over me. I love him so much and I know he loves me too. I am sure he feels really bad for changing our plans and letting me down but he is also burden by his responsibility as a father and having the chip on his shoulder that he can do it to his ex-wife. He is now over protective of his daughter since she left her mom's and he is really his only other close relative in town. To add to the fuel, I told his kids that i was going to get a divorce because he no longer wants to move. I was furious that he didn't have a concrete plan for us and has chosen his daughter over the rest of his family up in Canada that he made a commitment to when we got married. He want us to accept that it will take him 5 more years before he can come up. In the meantime, I was to commute more because he can no longer due it. I was furious and have since apologized. He is furious too since I said those things to his kids and has lost trust in me that I hurt them through a divorce text. I guess we both have lost some trust in each other. In addition, our relationship has been strained because she is with him full time! Our time we have to text, chat or FaceTime is significant reduced because he has to care for her (drive, entertain...) Communication and time together is key to a long distance relationship and it is very threatened at this time. He wants to protect her and our fight or problem is her fault. He wants us to figure it out but does not want her to have to compromised. He thinks it took balls for her to stand up to her mom and make the move to live with him so he can't send her back. He doesn't want us to get counseling to work on our marriage because he needs time to regain the trust for me and determine if I will run and hurt them again.

What should I do? Is this a lost cause?
Why doesn't he have the backbone to tell her she at least have to stay with her mom for 2 weekends a month? Why can't we all compromise?