Is it normal to feel overly jealous?

10 Comments

My boyfriend and I have been going through a pretty hard time together recently. Me being female and generally always quite jealous of others, I make it obvious that I don't exactly appreciate all of the girls he hangs out with or sexual Instagram accounts he follows. Of course I'm perfectly fine with him having a few female friends and following whoever he'd like to, it just... gets to a point when I don't know how to handle my jealousy. We've talked about it before but he seems to think it's perfectly fine. I recently had a male friend that he didn't approve of resulting in me cutting contact with that person. Maybe I'm just confused? Maybe I'm worrying more than I have to be? What should I do? :(

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Comments ( 10 )
  • ijustwannaknowifimodd
    5 years ago

    Lmao if he has female friends, you can have male friends. Although I would ask you to try to feel less jealous in the future, because jealousy is a dangerous emotion that can result in unpleasant things happening. Try to work on being a less jealous person in general (not just you, everyone needs to work on that imo).

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  • dirtybirdy
    5 years ago

    Why did he not approve of your male friend???? If he is "allowed" to have female friends, you are doing no wrong having a friendship with a guy, especially if you were friends before you started dating this dude.

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    • sadsushi
      5 years ago

      That's what I thought! Thank you for commenting, I think I just needed this reassurance that I have a right to talk to who'd I'd like to just as much as he does.

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        Listen to the Bird, the Bird is the word.

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      • dirtybirdy
        4 years ago

        So many friendships fall apart when someone starts dating. It's not right and it surely ain't cool! A normal healthy relationship has trust and no jealousy. Dont ever let someone else dictate your life and friendships! Ever! It only leads to regret and resentment.

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  • CountessDouche
    5 years ago

    It's pretty common in your first few relationships, yes, but it's really unhealthy.

    You need to ask yourself two questions:

    Do you trust your bf? If the answer is truly no, then you shouldn't be with him.

    Do you trust yourself? What i mean here is, do you trust yourself to be worthy of a relationship? Do you trust your abilitues to handle it if it doesn't work out? Do you trust that you don't have any insecurities that would make you question why someone would stay with you? You have to be honest here...because a lot of the time feelings like this drive jealousy. If you don't trust that you are worthy of a relationship or if you fear losing a relationship, you will act out to try & secure yoir "power" in that relationship as a means to reassure yourself.

    It could be a combination of the two, but you might have to work on some of your own issues in addition to whatever it is that he might be doing to make you feel insecure. The thing is, if you harbor a bunch of issues with self worth, it won't matter how good your relationship is. They will always surface & will always make you question things in ways that are just destructive.

    Either way, you can't just place restrictions on another person's life & friendships. It just won't work.

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  • Lestat565
    5 years ago

    Both you and him should be able to be friends with whoever you want. You both also should have a life outside of the relationship. He shouldn’t tell you to stop being friends with someone. You should control your jealousy though. Who he hangs out with or what he does online isn’t your business. Unless you don’t trust him. The whole thing seems very childish on both sides to me.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    F*CK

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    He's not worth wasting your time with if he expects you to live with some double standard where he can have female friends, but you cannot have male friends. Surely, there is someone out there who's better for you than this jerk!

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  • WeirdGuyFromTheSouth
    5 years ago

    I always tell people on here to try to not make your spouse feel like shit. You have to pick your battles. If theyre always miserable around you (not saying he is in ur case) they will figure the relationship aint worth it. Ive been with my girl for 10 years but off and on through highschool too so more like 15 years. Communication is key, and also learning to meet in the middle sometimes.

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