Ask Your Question today
I’m an 18 year old guy and I feel more comfortable as a person in girls clothing. I guess I’ve always been a bit girly in general even since I was a kid. I’ve mostly worn womens cut pants and shirts since middleschool and I honestly see myself as more feminine than masculine most of the time. Is this normal?
Maybe you should explore your gender more. Maybe you'd be more comfortable identifying as female. Do whatever you want!
Maybe, it is actually more likely he just likes CD.
Its possible, but I tend to think most mtf trans folk know they are a girl, and wouldn't be thinking about just clothes at 18.
It can be distressing to feel like you should be trans when you actually just like girl clothes.
The question is more if he thinks he has a female brain like his thoughts are the ones a girl has
Is it possible you're projecting? I feel like, because you relate to OP's experience and you're worried about the possibility of being trans yourself, you're sensitive about others bringing up this option at all.
I'm trans. It may be distressing to question your gender, but it's even more distressing to live unhappily and closeted for years out of fear. It's very common for trans people to start questioning our identity from our clothes and other outward signs because it's easier to spot than trying to, out of the blue, start considering whether our thoughts are more male or female. Doesn't really happen like that. And the notion that a trans person wouldn't still be questioning at 18 is pure misinformation. A quick google search will show you the array of very different ages trans folk start transitioning. Also, asker mentions he's felt more feminine throughout his life.
That said, it's up to you identify where these feelings are coming from. For example, is it a kink for you? Are you gay, and just love to feel feminine, but still fundamentally want to be with other men as a man? Or do girl clothes just "feel right", and maybe you'd like others to perceive you as a girl? It can take a while to figure out which one it is, especially when the lines seem to blur, but eventually you will. Like Quinn said, just explore a bit. And if it turns out you're trans, no problem. It can feel scary at first, but personally I couldn't be happier to both be trans and have come out.
Definitely projecting haha. And didn't mean to imply that someone wouldn't be questioning at 18, but only that at that age thoughts would likely have include other areas 18 year olds think about, not just clothes, but I shouldn't have made a blanket statement.
In my experience I went from an environment where I had to where skirts in secrecy, to living in a house with all trans or queer ppl, with the reverse pressure which was even more uncomfortable.
So ya if they are trans by all means, but the implication that there is something inherently better about being trans I dont think is a good thing for anyone including trans ppl
Like you said, there are more factors at play for a trans person than a crossdresser when it comes to being closeted. Most people would rather be a crossdresser than trans because they know being trans is harder. There's no shortage of excuses or denial when it comes to internalized transphobia and that needs to be brought up continuously in conversations about gender.
This is why it'll always be more important to point out that if a guy feels feminine and wants to wear girls' clothes, it's good to offer the option of transness, instead of unhelpfully yelling out that "men can wear skirts too!". So, it's not that there's something better about being trans (?), there's something better in making sure people don't stay closeted, even if it gets a bid pedantic.
I never had to post a question anywhere asking if it's normal that I feel girly and that I want to wear jewelry sometimes, because I already know that I'm gay and therefore where those things come from. Only questioning people would ask that question.
And no one in these answers to OP's succint question said "you must be trans!", everyone's reply's basically, "you could like crossdressing, or you might be trans. Here's how to start going into it. Either way, it's fine".
If there's such a thing as "pressure to be trans", it only exists in enclosed spaces and friend circles, and only affects people who probably could use a nudge in that direction. I'm sorry you had a bad experience, but I can't say I'm not glad they exist.
I was with you until this last post. There is definitely pressure to be trans, and even moreso to be queer. As a straight man who likes wearing skirts it is entirely helpful to be told that men can wear skirts too. I feel like you are now the one projecting and just seeing this from the angle that they are trans. Transitioning is harder, but being trans isn't something chosen imo. I think we're in agreement people should be who they are.
The only discrepancy is I saw these posts about it being OK to be trans as adding unnecessary confusion to a non trans persons life, and you saw my reaction as perhaps wanting to keep a trans person from hearing that being trans is OK.
I understand at the same time there are still big pressures to stay stealth or closeted, but I just didn't get the vibe that OP was trans
I agree. Do as you want or feel. Be yourself and enjoy the short time we all have.
Ya, do whatever makes you comfortable. I'm a girl who mostly dresses in guys clothing
The way I see it, so what if he's a crossdresser or trans. I am a crossdresser myself but I keep it home and private, usually. I do feel better when im wearing a bra and maybe pantyhose. It honestly is so relaxing. I love it.
The most important thing seems to me to find out if you just like wearing girls clothes, or if you actually identify more as a girl.
Either is perfectly fine.
If you feel comfortable, naughty or even turned on by walking around in female attire, remember that a LOT of men have this kink.
This ranges from secretly wearing panties to going full drag. I've walked around in womens clothing myself.
You may find it interesting to know that almost 90% of all crossdressers are straight.
If you think you might actually rather identify as a woman then your path will be a longer one.
And it is a very good idea to talk to a therapist about it at some point.
Not because you are somehow 'defective' but to help you make the right decisions about important things in your life.
And also because not many people have enough experience with this situation to give you proper advice.
Remember that this stuff is confidential. No one else needs to know if you don't want that.
Whatever applies to you, relax and have fun.
It is such a waste to live a live that is not your own but rather one that others expect you to live.