Is it normal to feel like you're in a quarter-life crisis at 23?!

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10 Comments

I turned 23 a month ago, yet when I up until the age of 20-odd, I could never see myself living to 30, and [frankly] didn't want to. I'm 23 now and can still only just about see myself getting to 35 at a push... and yet my mum's still here at the age of 54 and my maternal granmother's still alive at 70/80 something [Yeah, I admit it, I can't remember her birthday. I am a horrible person for it].

I'm in my final year of university studying French and Japanese, which I've always wanted to do and have actively pursued since the age of 14. I've just come back from my year abroad (Lyon Sep-Feb and Kumamoto Mar-Aug). I enjoy some of the courses the university has to offer, although not all of them [Come on, I'm not a total geek!!]
I'm living with my boyfriend (who'll be 22 in January), who's caring, sweet, loving, has what a lot of people would consider good values.... yet sometimes I can barely stand the sight of him.
There's a lot more about him I could add, but that'll come as and when people want/need to find out more; and of course you're free to ask any questions you want/need.

_:_:_

I feel like my life's already over, and I still remember vividly how angry and miserable I was about turning 21, to the point that I was furious that one of my best friends at the time wanted to try and do something for me and we ended up not speaking for a week or two; the biggest fallout we'd ever had up to that point.

One one hand I find it almost funny that I was like that; considering it turned out that I enjoyed my 21st birthday, even though it was only celebrated with my housemates - one of whom is now the aforementioned boyfriend, and yet there's still.... SOMETHING there. Some kind of little alarm bell, possibly.... but I'm not sure that's actually what it is.

I live in a city I've always loved and have an affinity to, I'm going to a gig to see some people I like from a forum I like next Saturday and I'm going to a Japan day in Manchester tomorrow, I have a supportive and generally loving family and last night I went out on a birthday party for someone doing Japanese in my year and had a good time even though I wasn't around much.

So why aren't I happy?!

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 52 votes (43 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • thebuddah
    13 years ago

    I'm the opposite! I'm 23 and I can't wait to be in my thirties. At my job I have a lot of older clients and they all tell me that their 30s were the best years. And I agree because hopefully by then you'll be settled :)

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  • skyhuh24
    13 years ago

    Omg; I had the same exact problem several months ago. I told my coworkers who were older than me (27, 34, 30) and they got offended. I'm 23 too and I think about it a lot. I never understood what it meant by a "mid-life crisis" until I told someone i felt like i was having one who was like 15 years older than me and she got pissed. I guess it was an identity crisis. Idk. Anyway, it's definitely normal.

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  • threeyearsold
    13 years ago

    I went through it at 22. I'm 30 now. My advice is to make sure you keep following your goals. I am not exactly where I wanted to be at 30 but I'm pretty close and that has made it easier getting through the years. For me 30 would have been hard to take if I hadn't graduated, still lived with my parents, was unemployed etc. Work on what you feel you need to accomplish in life and getting older isn't so bad.

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  • CaptainObvious
    13 years ago

    Well you're not going to get a 1/4 life crisis at 50.

    ~CaptainObvious

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  • CountryRoads
    13 years ago

    I think the media stresses aging so much, that people in their 20s are feeling pressured, although nobody knows what for... Your life hasn't even started, it's not like you're wasting time.

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  • birchboy
    13 years ago

    very normal, just hang in there. I'm 31, my twenties were rough, but if you can make it to 30 things will get better. And i hear having a quarterlife crisis will prevent a midlife crisis. Go with it, do the best you can.

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  • Kelevra
    13 years ago

    I know exactly how you feel. I swear, it seems like the month after my 24th birthday, I was "out of my prime." I just seemed old. My laugh lines looked more defined, my hairline just seemed a little higher... but I wasn't as accomplished as you appear to be (I'm still not at 26). Most of my problems lie in the fact that I'm 26 and I'm really no different from when I was 17. Most people my age know what they're doing with their lives, have established a career or are pursuing one. I've gotten no where. I see people I use to go to school with on FaceBook who are doing really well for themselves and here I am... 26 and I've got nothing to show for it. So, you're definitely not alone, but your situation in life sounds pretty good to me.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    I'm 35 years old. All I can tell you is, your mind, personality, and interests will develop more over the next decade, and it won't feel like such a big deal anymore. You'll miss the easy feeling of a youthful body, but it's not a bad trade for all the wisdom you'll gain.

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  • shakenbake855
    13 years ago

    it will get worse...im 25 just being able to say that im 30 in 5 more years haunts me every single day..i dont think ive lived it up as much as i should have as a youth and feel like a need to play some catch up..im not ready to mature yet i guess you could say..also i just returned to college and seeing some of these 18 year old frshmen in school is crazy, they look like little kids

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  • hAlways
    13 years ago

    I totally know how you feel, albeit in a different way. I am a distance runner (was a track star in high school, and will be turning 20 soon). And everyone knows that at about age 30, athletic performance starts to decline. I love running, I'm good at it, and I feel like it is what I'm meant to do. But I'm almost 20. I only have ten more years. I don't want to live to be old and slow. A life like that would be dead to me. I feel like my life is more than halfway over AT AGE 20.

    I can't give you any advice, but just know that you're not the only one who thinks this way.

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