Is it normal to feel like this after losing a loved one?

86% Normal
12 Comments

My brother commit suicide and I feel like in going insane! My brother was my best friend in the world. He was two years younger than me, but he was always very protective over me. Our parents are alcoholics/drug users so we always relied on eachother for everything. If I was upset, id go to him. He wouldn't really tell me what was bothering him too often, but I always knew. My dad was abusive towards him. Mostly verbally...my brother was the kind of guy that would do anything for anyone, even if it hurt him. I never really had any true friends my whole life, never really trusted anyone or even felt comfortable enough to...my brother was the only one in my life who made me feel safe. I feel so lost without him. I cry every day and take it out on my boyfriend, who has been my only other friend. My boyfriend just doesn't understand though, he's never experienced losing someone who meant so much to him. I wish I had someone to talk to...we just moved back to our hometown and I feel more alone than ever. When I got back I had to clean my dads filthy house. It was sad to see my brothers belongings collecting dust. I feel so guilty and selfish...extremely confused. I don't want to hurt anyone, especially my boyfriend, but this pain is ruining my life. I just want to be with my brother:(

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 95 votes (82 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    If you truly love someone, you will let them go...

    What's done is done

    Be at peace with yourself

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  • DADNSCAL
    11 years ago

    So sorry for your loss and your grief. Of course it's normal for you to feel the way you do, especially because of the circumstances, but you have to get through this. You can too. Best wishes.

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  • Saycheese
    11 years ago

    Your brother will always be in your heart you just need to let those negative feelings go. Think about the great memories you've had with him; there is nothing you can do about the lose. He is gone and you can't change it but what you can change is your life and the way you feel. You just need to shift your feelings back to reality and realize you are your own person and don't need to rely on your brother. Be happy don't worry.

    Also I know for sure he would do the same.

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  • kingsleycrowne
    11 years ago

    I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend its hard for awhile just try and understand and accept it. It's something you will likely never get closure from so save his memory for times of quiet reflection and draw on inner strength going forward.

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  • telly34
    11 years ago

    I am so sorry to hear this. I know that it is a tragic loss, but you are a strong person and as long as you live your life and keep him in your memories and heart, he will be with you forever.

    Hope this helps.

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  • 0404
    11 years ago

    I lost my dad and gran 2 weeks of each other 5 years ago from heart problems it was sudden death for both I know in a away how you feel. Its very normal how you feel I feel for you. Take care all the best and again I am sorry :)
    PS: I was 15 then and now 21. and I am still not over it at all. So its all normal.

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  • Ipooprainbows
    11 years ago

    The moment lasts for a second, anticipation can last for months but it's the actual memories that last forever <3 I'm sorry for your loss, time will heal though

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  • college
    11 years ago

    Losing someone to suicide causes complications in your grieving process. Not only do you grieve the loss, but you also wonder what you could have done to stop it. Then, of course, there is the stigma surrounding suicide. It's difficult to lose a sibling. You imagine a whole future where your sibling(s) play a huge role. No matter what happens, you know that your sibling(s) are by your side. To have this ripped from under you so quickly is absolutely devastating. I too lost my brother to suicide, we were close in age as well. It hasn't even been three months since it happened, so I understand that feeling that the pain will never lessen. True, the pain will never go away, but I notice a bit of difference even just two months out. This will certainly take time, but know that you are not alone.

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  • DubstepismyMJ
    11 years ago

    I know how you feel. I too lost my best friend in the world, my brother, my twin. Its been months, i kept my feelings bottled up for a long time until recently. i didnt seek help because my twin was the only one i was really close to. i didnt see an expert like a therapist or counsellor because i thought i can handle it by myself, but the truth is most of the time i didnt like to think about it. So i got sick physically and diagnosed with ptsd because i didnt deal with the emotional pain. And TRUST me, you dont want this. Yes if you dont deal with emotional pain, it can affect you physically. The first 3 didnt really help me until i ment my 4th person who really understood how i felt. So i aint no expert just someone who knows how you feel, so msg me and dont keep it in like i did. If you need to talk to someone im here. and i Highly highhhly recommend to see an expert about this maybe the same person who helped me Tremendously. Talk about how you feel, dont be afraid to cry. And i will say this again because i cant express how important it is to talk about your feelings especially to an expert who understands how to deal with this. tho Not all experts will help, or truly truulllyyy understand what your going through. But try, dont be afraid. I want to help if i can.

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    • punkin89
      11 years ago

      I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I know it is the worst feeling you could ever feel. Kind of like coming down...down so far that you feel you've lost yourself as well. Which is true..I lost the girl I used to be and that everyone knew me as. But I had strength that I never possessed before. Id felt the greatest pain known, losing that one person who knew you better than anyone in the world. I don't think a therapist or councellor could ever understand that kind of pain without going through it themselves. I would much rather discuss my feelings, my deepest thoughts, to someone who could relate. Would you really like to talk about it with me? Maybe we can both help eachother if we could talk about it.

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  • chocolate21
    10 years ago

    I am so sorry for your loss and yes, it is normal to feel like that

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  • peachypie^^
    10 years ago

    This is a hard thing to get over, i know. Without my brother sometimes I would never get anywhere in life, yes it is normal. (P.S i'm sorry for your loss) :(

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