Is it normal to feel like i don't belong?
Hi, I'm 18 years old and since I was I little kid, I always got the feeling that I don't belong.
I was a loner as a kid and I still am today. I like my own company more than the company of others. When I was younger I use to avoid other people, like they were some sort of plague. As I've gotten older, I started to interact more with people. At school I have friends but I don't trust people (I'm the sort of person that's 'friends' with everyone but they don't really KNOW you, you know?).
I love reading fantasy and supernatural books. I also love writing my own stories, it somehow relaxes me. I make up strange worlds inside my head and just think of all the possible stories that can happen. I also get lost in my head sometimes, which my parents don't like, at all. They gave me a really hard time this year and some of the teachers noticed that something was bothering me. My parents tried talking to me, but just like I don't trust people, I don't trust then ether. They sent me to therapy for awhile and it helped a little, but after my therapist wanted to give me pills, my parents stopped sending me.
A few months ago it almost felt as if that feeling of not belonging got x10 stronger. I felt like I never should have been born, I can't see what my purpose in the world is, I have nothing to offer others. It felt like I didn't want to live anymore, that I shouldn't live anymore... so I wanted, and tried, to commit suicide. My parents don't know...
As months has gone by, I started to feel like myself again. There is always a smile on my face, I still love helping people, I'm a good listener, I still like being on my own and I stay away from people. I don't know any other people that act the way I do, so... is it normal?