Is it normal to feel like i don't belong?

Hi, I'm 18 years old and since I was I little kid, I always got the feeling that I don't belong.

I was a loner as a kid and I still am today. I like my own company more than the company of others. When I was younger I use to avoid other people, like they were some sort of plague. As I've gotten older, I started to interact more with people. At school I have friends but I don't trust people (I'm the sort of person that's 'friends' with everyone but they don't really KNOW you, you know?).

I love reading fantasy and supernatural books. I also love writing my own stories, it somehow relaxes me. I make up strange worlds inside my head and just think of all the possible stories that can happen. I also get lost in my head sometimes, which my parents don't like, at all. They gave me a really hard time this year and some of the teachers noticed that something was bothering me. My parents tried talking to me, but just like I don't trust people, I don't trust then ether. They sent me to therapy for awhile and it helped a little, but after my therapist wanted to give me pills, my parents stopped sending me.

A few months ago it almost felt as if that feeling of not belonging got x10 stronger. I felt like I never should have been born, I can't see what my purpose in the world is, I have nothing to offer others. It felt like I didn't want to live anymore, that I shouldn't live anymore... so I wanted, and tried, to commit suicide. My parents don't know...

As months has gone by, I started to feel like myself again. There is always a smile on my face, I still love helping people, I'm a good listener, I still like being on my own and I stay away from people. I don't know any other people that act the way I do, so... is it normal?

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 26 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • qcbugz

    It's hard to say whether it is normal or not, personally I know how you feel, because I am pretty much the exact same, except I only read non-fiction books, and like to write said, genre.
    Except for me it's not a strong feeling of alienation, rather I take enjoyment of being a 'loner' and yes, I do have good, personal friends.
    I believe there are more people in the world like this than we'd like to believe so yes it is technically normal, yet I also believe the majority of people in this world are extroverts, and love to socialise and make friends; what then, would be considered normal? to be one or the other, or both at the same time, I often wonder. Is it normal to be neither?

    (Don't answer these questions, I was trying to get to the point that humans cannot prove whether being talkative or not is considered normal as a vast majority of people belong to both groups in our current community we call Earth).

    As for feeling like you don't belong, this could be many things, depression could be a possibility but I would like to think otherwise, I believe it is because you choose to alienate yourself from others, or perhaps it's because you're making yourself believe that you don't belong because you obviously think a different way to everyone else, or see things that others easily miss...
    As in, you're special; I have spent my entire life seeing logic in some things that people find extremely hard to understand, and yet my creativity flows beyond me and my mind, and I usually 'sift' through the cracks of controversial theories to find and understand the truth of something without much stress, so as to say that I am not blinded by the delusions that inhabit the majority of us. Because of these reasons I have often felt different than everyone else, and usually avoid others, and at one stage I felt extremely lonely, often thinking that I shouldn't have been born because of the difference I felt in myself, just like you.

    But I also recently found out that I have Aspergers which could explain why I see logic in things that others don't, perhaps this is a similar case with you.

    Didn't you hear, the quite ones tend to show true promise to the productivity in this world, whom are truly brilliant beings who offer calm and care. "the quite ones are often the smarter ones".

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  • thegypsysailor

    Maybe you are another one of those aliens inserted into human society for some reason. A sleeper agent perhaps, just awaiting activation when your species attacks this planet.

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  • Jazyritz619

    I am sobbing as I read your post because I feel the same way too. I've been hurt so much that it's starting to effect my mentality on how I view the world. Im afraid someone might notice how deeply scared I am and treat me differently.

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  • wistfulmaiden

    Yes:)

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    • RoseIsabella

      Me too!
      ;-)

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  • theseeker

    I've always felt the same way. I never have and probably never will make friends easily. When I was in school I separated myself from people and never talked. Like you, they thought something was wrong with me, but it's what I was comfortable with.

    However, eventually I realized there is a lot more to experience with other people, and there are certain things that are more enjoyable when you can experience them with someone else. It's normal to be an introvert, but I think everyone needs people in their life, or some type of social interaction otherwise it gets hard.

    It's not easy, but I think we have to learn how to "let go" a little bit.

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  • mypenisinyourmouth

    I relate to this (:

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  • Holzman_67

    You should take up squash.?

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  • Short4Words

    At the end of the day you gotta do whats comfortable for you within the margin of not being afraid to do anything. I think if you give yourself some time you might come to realize you belong just as much as anybody else.

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