Is it normal to feel like a crazy insecure wife??

67% Normal
5 Comments

I've been married 13 years and caught my husband secretly pleasuring himself in the bathroom to porn on his phone. I'd possibly be ok with it seeming as how I've also pleasured myself watching porn, but I do it when he's not here. I was here & in 13 years of marriage I've always had sex when he's wanted to & been willing to experiment so he won't get bored! Also, recently he got drunk at a bar by himself rather then coming home & a few years ago went to a strip club. I feel like he doesn't want me, but when I've tried expressing my concerns & feelings, he tells me I'm taking it wrong & makes me feel like I'm a crazy person! I'm upset but don't know if I even should be!

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 6 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    A lot of people feel this way but at the same time it's not really healthy. I've noticed both on this website and in my own relations with people that insecurity and jealousy tend to fuel most relationships far more than they really should. For one, you don't need to say yes to sex every time, you two should be approaching intimacy from an equal plane rather than this imbalance that you're implying. Judging by the sound of things he probably doesn't even know that this is an issue for you.

    But *almost* everyone is going to want to fap sometimes. The porn is just a visual aid to achieve said goal. As for going to strip clubs, so what? That's a pretty common experience and it's not like he's going with the intention of taking one of these girls home. Hell, why not go to the strip club with him? It's kinda fun and kinda funny at the same time.

    Honestly I've read about a lot of guys doing a lot worse, and if this is the only problem you've encountered in your marriage in 13 years then you're doing better than a loot of other people.

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  • ygrowup
    11 years ago

    You sound special, that you go the extra to keep it exciting and new! Keep it up, and don't give up on him, and you will have little to worry about!

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  • oysterbay
    11 years ago

    Was he looking in the mirror? That would be a worry :D

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  • zyxwxxx
    11 years ago

    There is no reason to feel insecure about it. Most men who are madly in love with their wives would enjoy visiting strip bars or masturbating to porn. It's like watching a movie and admiring your favorite actor/actress. When the movie is over and you are out of it, you know that the most beautiful women of your life is your wife.

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  • Suzyq1404
    11 years ago

    Looking in the mirror comment really made me Lol, Thanx! @shade_ilmaendu, thank you! Very true! I guess it is just insecurity. I've been feeling a bit lonely lately then these few things happen & they seem HUGE!! Thanks for the support & encouragement :)

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