Is it normal to feel increased arousal when thinking of this?

71% Normal
2 Comments

I find that if I think of times in my life when I was hurt emotionally (such as being neglected by friends, family or partners or never being told "I love you" in return when I said it to a partner), I get the weirdest feeling. It's a combination of heartache and a strange "arousal" that causes my whole body to tingle. I then like to imagine being with a partner who loves me and nobody else and isn't afraid to say it. I usually end up touching myself and achieving orgasm easily this way. I can achieve multiple orgasms just through imagining this other half caressing me and being a shield for all that has caused me pain in the past. I feel them bringing me to higher and higher plains of ecstasy and melting pleasure through my own hands and body heat. Whenever I'm upset it's an easy way for me to feel calmer.

It sounds crazy, I know. Apart from this though I have no other weird sexual quirks. I'm a bit confused and wondering if it's normal or not.

I do have a boyfriend and in no way is he abusive, so I'm not lonely. I just understand why this happens to me.

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 7 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • Alkibiades
    12 years ago

    My dear, you know why it happens. It happens because you have a deep-seated longing to be told reassuringly by a male love object that he loves you. That is the key that unlocks your otherwise hidden-away jewel of arousal. That is what you yearn for and wait to hear. The hard part (and what frustrates women no end) is that you don't want to tell guys what you need, you don't want it scripted. You want them to tell you of their own volition, that's what would make it so beautiful and meaningful for you. And since they do not do it, you provide the magic words yourself. The problem is, this leaves you with the moments of thrilling excitement being solitary rather than shared. That's the dilemma that has you pondering and seeking comment.

    Realistically, all you can do is tell your b/f in a nice way that the most important thing in the world to you is to be told romantically that he loves you. Give him a chance to do that. And you might explore other guys to see if you can find someone who has that capacity. There aren't many. Good luck!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Thank you so much for your comment. What you said makes a lot of sense, and I gained a better sense of understanding regarding my dilemma. :)I'll take your advice and see what happens. I need to be patient with him.

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