Is it normal to feel horrible inside?

There's this feeling in my chest that I can't completely describe. I feel like shit, like something's catastrophically wrong-- dirty, worthless, hopeless, like a failure...

It often stays with me all day, and I can't escape it. It gnaws at my insides even while I'm busy. The only time I don't have to feel it is when I'm asleep, but the sleeping hours always pass too quickly.

Part of me is grateful that I'm not of drinking age yet, because I might be vulnerable to addiction right now.

I'm itching to kill myself, tbh. But alas, I'm entangled with responsibilities that will keep me tethered to the land of the living for perhaps another decade.