Is it normal to feel half dead inside?

53% Normal
10 Comments

I feel empty, not entirely so, but pretty damn close. Most days it's a struggle to feel anything. It feels like I'm going through life without truly being alive. Days when I do feel though, it feels like I got hit by a freight train. When I feel anything, it's like someone is ripping my heart from my chest. I feel completely heavy hearted, and I can't help but wonder if everything that's happened in my life has left me so damaged, so broken that there's hardly anything left to save.

I have "close" friends who I can talk to if I want to get something off my chest, but I honestly don't trust anyone anymore. I don't even trust my family. The worst part though, I look at my friends and family, people who have done so much for me and always been there for me, and I feel nothing for them. Ever since my sister passed away two years ago, I've felt nothing towards anyone except my ex. Most days I wake up and just kind of accept that I feel nothing and go through the day. There's times though that I can't help but fall apart because I wish so bad that I could feel something for these people who have done so much for me.

I'm to the point where I look at people in general and just feel that I don't belong amongst humanity. That maybe I wasn't meant for this world. That's not to say I'm considering suicide because I know that wouldn't fix anything, but I struggle to feel like I belong anywhere. I often wonder if one day I'll find someone who can make me feel again. I've always dreamt of having a family and kids, but I'm not sure that that's an option anymore. *sigh* I'm not even sure what the hell I'm supposed to do anymore.

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 55 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • karmasAbich
    12 years ago

    I was told I have dysthymia. Which is depression that lasts for longer periods of time and not as severe as full blown depression. It takes will power. And a lot of it. Look for ways to occupy your mind. Learn a trade, the guitar, work on your diet anything to keep your mind busy. Meditation helped me over the years. Don't give up, just tell yourself improve, improve. Take strides to learn new things and it will give you a small feeling of joy, even for short amounts of time will help you as the days and months go by. Good luck to you. Keep that chin high and your. attitude positive and great things will come your way. Once again, good luck :)

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  • rin
    12 years ago

    What I do is force myself to get up. Take a shower or else I feel even shittier. I have to make a schedule for myself or I will just lay on the couch looking at the ceiling. The worst thing you can do is nothing.

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  • Ms.Caffinated
    12 years ago

    Depression is a bitch, aint it? You can try forcing yourself, drink a few expressos, amp yourself up and tell yoursekf, its a beautiful day, I'm an awesome person, and i love the people around! The positivity can sometimes be enough to change yourself. You know you don't wanna feel like this forever, that much is true so maybe you just need a hobby or boy/girl friend (cant tell if your male or female lol) sometimes that new realationship feeling makes you happy and occupied enough to forget your problems. ^_^ I hope you find the answer cuz you sound like a cool person.

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  • Urge2push
    12 years ago

    Much like rin, if it wasn't for my job, I would lay in my bed and stare at the wall. Schedules do help. Keeping your mind busy also helps.... Books, puzzles, stuff like that.

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  • krepta999
    6 years ago

    It's perfectly normal.

    My own sister died many years ago. More recently a friend of mine also went off to that big Nordic feasthall in the sky, whilst another one (figuratively) stabbed me in the back and left me to bleed all over the dirt. So, lately, I've been feeling a lot like you, but I know from experience it isn't going to last forever.

    Read a book. Watch some angsty movies. Think, introspect, reflect. Create your own reason for existing. Only you can decide what you're "supposed" to do.

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  • Ditblim
    11 years ago

    I know exactly how you feel! I feel so hollow at times and I can't bare to talk to anyone because anything they say will just hurt me.

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  • nAt2017
    12 years ago

    I hope you're alright. Just be strong and you'll make it through.

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  • j_skillet
    12 years ago

    God help you. I'll pray for you!!

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Keep moving forwad!

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  • pambambam
    11 years ago

    meet somebody, fall in love :)

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