Is it normal to feel guilty after sex?

I just had sex for the first time. It was painful and uncomfortable. Im 17 and he's 23. The whole time after all I could think about was my mom and how she'd be so disappointed. I thought of what my family would think of me. I felt dirty and ashamed. I don't know if this is normal.

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 306 votes (212 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • boehawk

    Since most girls in western society are taught that sex before marriage is wrong or a sin or bad ( or makes them bad ) it's not surprising most of us females feel guilty the first time we have sex ( some even when it it happens on our wedding night ) .

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    • wtfno

      kids start sex-ed at 6th grade and learn about condoms and making sure he wants more than just a shag in the 10th.No one is under the illusion that under age sex doesn't exist and if you think sex before marriage is a sin then your a fucking idiot.

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      • Hoppy2142

        Get the fuck off this website, a lot of people save it for marriage, including me! You can report me, i dont care because this post is staying up until im kicked

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  • nykmad11

    If you're religious.. It's called the Holy Spirit conviction..

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  • yesnomaybeso

    I think if you felt that way you weren't ready.

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  • crimsonprodigy

    You aren't supposed to feel that way with a guy that you like...

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  • robbieforgotpw

    I powersharted this morning

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    • RoseIsabella

      Was it a mighty,muddy one?

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      • robbieforgotpw

        Yes plus I just got off the can from a painful strainer

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        • RoseIsabella

          All joking aside, it's not good when you have to force it.

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  • WOOHOO!

    It's not that you are underage (what ppl keep talking and commenting about) It's that he is 23. It is illegal because you are not 18 yet... It's pretty much classified as rape.

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    • KeddersPrincess

      Depends on what state. Here in Texas, you have to be at least 17.

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  • YBNormal

    It's normal, but shame on him for not trying to make it "special" for you (I am assuming this, based on your overall dissatisfaction of the event).

    Have you discussed your feelings with your BF? I don't know anything about him, and he may be a dick that blows off your feelings, but more likely, he'll be glad that you shared, and he may be able to put your heart at ease.

    I think your feelings are completely normal, and I would bet that most girls feel that way at first, although not all may be able to articulate it as well.

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  • eric07

    Sometimes I feel guilty depending on how many times we do it in a week

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  • eric07

    I felt guilty my first time, which I'm not going into detail, and no it didn't last a few seconds, more like 45 min
    My gf feels guilty sometimes after we do it

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  • TheFeminineGuy

    My girlfriend told me a story of the pretty much the same thing you said. She felt the exact same way as you. Don't worry, it's normal for you to get those feelings. However, you might not have been ready to have sex if you do. After you have sex more, it will get better, trust me. My girlfriend and I have sex almost everyday.

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  • freeasair93

    I think after your first time it's normal, because of the pressure everyone puts on being a virgin/not a virgin.
    The psychological effect it has on you is that it makes you think you've somehow changed yourself, which is where the feeling of guilt comes from- and where your parents come in. They've been there through everything in your life, so I guess it's only natural to feel guilty at thinking you've separated yourself from them somehow.
    I always find it interesting that teenagers feel no guilt over changing haircut or clothing style in the company of their parents, but do over virginity and some other things.
    It's all about the pressure that society puts on certain aspects that does it, I think.
    But yes, that's normal I think, don't worry. As long as you don't feel guilty every time you have sex with your boyfriend, there's no issue =)

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  • theaverageatheist

    normal. i felt the same way but then I thought that my mom had probably been though the exact same things when she was young and so does every teen (so help me he\she is a teen or young adult).
    it's a normal part of becoming an adult, and in the long run if you use protection and don't become a slut (wich given you concernes will not be a problem) I think your mother youd me happier that you do have a love life rather than be one of thouse uninterested antisocial human beings that lock them selves in their rooms on the computer all day. (probably describec a lot of people here o.O)
    don't worry your concernes are completly normal^^ and have fun with you BF ^.^

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    • KeddersPrincess

      Hey, we uninterested antisocial human beings that lock ourselves in our rooms on the computer all day, contribute much to this society!

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      • theaverageatheist

        indeed...

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  • Chotusstroker83

    Did you do arse to mouth? As that does make a girl feel dirty especially if u film it and show her parents. Were you ejaculated in?

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  • plinky

    IIN to feel guilty after sex?......only if its rape...ehem

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  • LovingTogether

    You'll get over it. And you'll look for all the things that are nasty and dirty to stimulate your future sex life. Do it and enjoy!

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  • Ibelievethis

    Hi Hun. Yeah your feelings are completley normal sex is quite often painful and uncomfortable the first time it certainly was for me (I bled) but I do promise you it will get better for you as you get older and learn more about how you body works and what you enjoy. I know my sex life has got better with age that's for sure. Please take heed that you have done absolutly nothing wrong and you have nothing to feel guilty about. Why do you think your mum would be disapointed about you having sex I think it's obvious your mum has had sex. (hence the reason you're here) xxx

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    • KeddersPrincess

      Nuh-uh! Stork brings the babies!

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