Is it normal to feel embarrassed after masturbation?

This isn't shame. I can't describe it, I guess in the heat of the moment when I'm jerking myself vigorously to a quality video it's the best thing in the world to me but the moment I go rigid and eject a stream of sperm from my penis I experience a radical shift in mood. I always find myself staring blankly at the screen in silence, feeling really lonely and pathetic just from looking at the results of my lust fueled fap session: pulsating dick in hand, pants lowered to ankles, soiled napkins and then it gets 10 times worse when I have to clean up my mess and I'm walking to and from my laptop with my erect penis bouncing around. I feel like a loser whenever my drive is expended. Is there a way not to feel depressed every time I masturbate?