Is it normal to feel down on yourself for not having sex since 2009?

Yes. It's true. I feel like a virgin all over again and it's driving me insane. It has made me completely moody and I feel like a loser. To reduce the feelings of loneliness that comes with not having sex for a long time I'll turn to homemade sex videos to feel aroused. I have this preoccupation with muscular men pounding women out hard and heavy and I like particularly when the guy is pounding the woman out in missionary position with her legs spread in the air. Sometimes the guy has gotten in the way due to him having a very muscular ass which is impossible not to notice and I feel envious of that aspect of a man because I don't have that. I even have this desire to watch a muscular man fuck a woman and do DP with him. I'm not gay; it is a fantasy of mine to please a woman with a well endowed man. I feel that it would be fun and empowering. The thought of two dicks in one pussy and the multiple orgasms is very exciting to me as well as the pleasure all of us would be feeling. I want to have an orgy. Is this normal?