Is it normal to feel constantly nagged and undervalued?

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I’ve never written a post before so here goes..............I’ve been with my BF for nearly 5 years now, we have a house and have a relatively stress free life outside of work, good jobs and the like. I’m not sure what to think of our relationship, my BF has never really been one to lavish me with compliments or whisk me away to nice places or even take me out to dinner and has always had a tendency to remind me of everything I do wrong. From the towels not being folded correctly, to leaving keys in the door, to not wiping the surfaces right or leaving a mug out, or having too many clothes (which I don’t) etc etc. We don’t go on holiday because he doesn’t like being away from home, he jokes and says he loves his cat more than me (which i actually think is true now), he can’t stay with me at friends or family for longer than a day or two and he gets really angry when I disagree or stick up for things I don’t want to do and then apologiesies profusely and is really sincere after he’s been awful. I love walking, running, swimming, socialising - everything basically, he drinks a lot more than me and prefers to stay in play his xbox and get high :( he’s not a bad person in fact everyone seems to love him, he’s funny and great with everyone, except it feels like he isn’t with me. We’ve not had sex for 6 months and before that it would only happen if he was high (I do not get high) but I accepted it cause it felt like we were close. I feel like I sound desperate and he is awful, but I’m not I’m a very successful woman, intelligent with a great job, and he is a good guy - but not with me always. I just don’t know how much nagging/agg is normal, he never stops me seeing friends or going on holidays with others etc so it’s not bad, but it’s not great either.........is it normal to be living with someone who is so different??? :(?

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Comments ( 6 )
  • XYXY
    5 years ago

    Sounds like he's a total dick, I can't even begin to think why you would stay with such a looser. He clearly sees you as some sort of scivy, I would tell him to wipe the surfaces himself, fold his own towels and enjoy the rest of his life with the cat. Then go and find a decent man who treats you properly.

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    • C0n4u5ed101
      5 years ago

      Thank you to everyone who replied - I am moving on I just needed a little nudge - I’ve known it’s not been right for a long time but in the middle of manipulation you sometimes lose yourself! Man I’m I glad to be me again! Thank you for taking the time to respond, I generally just read blogs and neglect to contribute but understanding others opinions helped me so I may be a convert ;) on to the next adventure!!

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  • TerriAngel
    5 years ago

    You have low self esteem.
    You can and should move on.
    You can do better.
    Sincere my ass.
    He just knows how to manipulate and control you.
    Of course it's up to you.
    But every day spent with him is a day wasted.

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  • EnglishLad
    5 years ago

    The only thing worse than being lonely is being tied down to someone who makes you feel lonely.

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  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    It sounds very toxic. Time to pull up anchor and ship out.

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  • geek_god_101
    5 years ago

    Being in a relationship being ignored by your partner guarantees misery. I had a girlfriend who would answer to her parents, children or dog but not me. I did one thing I could do and that is leave. It's not worth being miserable to be in a relationship.

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