Is it normal to feel conflicted?

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10 Comments

Ok, so I'm a straight female, but for quite a while I've been pretty confused about one of my close friends who is also a straight girl.

Basically, sometimes I feel like I have a major crush on her; I think about her constantly and a few times when I have been with her I have felt physically attracted to her [but other times I haven't] Lately it seems that my mood and opinion of myself go way down in relation to her; i.e. when she can't meet to do something. I don't know really how to explain it better than that.

Somedays I can convince myself that I'm just over-thinking the whole thing, that it's just because I'm single and we text all the time. But others.. I can't sleep because of it. I know this isn't exactly an extreme situation, but honestly it's driving me a little mad trying to make peace with my feelings. Any advice on how to realise what I am actually feeling? Any advice at all appreciated really.

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 34 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • ThomasMatthewDelonge
    12 years ago

    I am a straight man but I would fuck Tom Delonge up the ass until his ass bleeds.

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  • gogo45
    12 years ago

    I think your using her a a pseudo-boyfriend because all these feelings and things you do together are something you would do with your boyfriend.I think you should get back into the dating scene and meet some guys.

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  • maya617
    12 years ago

    I once had a crush on a girl at work when i was much younger. She was kinda masculine in ways and i guess i liked that. I'm straight btw.

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  • Vampgirl
    13 years ago

    Its normal to feel this way I've been feeling the same for my friend and I'm married and love my husband to death. I think that women develop these feeling towards their friend because we have closer relationships with them on an emotional level whereas a woman is more open to talk and share and to treat you more sensitive than a man. But, just be careful not to do more for her than she does for you, I tend to get like this cause when I start to feel more connected I give my all in the friendship and they take advantage of it. Friendship is a 50/50 deal, I'm not saying she is like this but people are only human! Just relax and go with the flow, I always think too much too and eversince I've just gone with the flow I feel so much more relaxed around her.

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    • i_don'tknow
      12 years ago

      Thanks for the good advice. She's not one to take advantage, but I still think it's a good idea to not expect more than would be usually given in a friendship. I definitely need to go with the flow more!

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      • Vampgirl
        12 years ago

        Maybe she feels the same about you, I know my friend likes me in another way as well but its all just fun...I'm still waiting for that kiss she told me she wants to give me but I'm not betting on it I don't want to look forward to something that might not happen so I'm just taking easy...I'm glad you appreciate my advice Good Luck!

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  • i_don'tknow
    13 years ago

    Thanks for your comments; typing this out in itself helped i think but hearing other persectives did too.
    I totally agree that sexuality is not set in stone. I only say 'straight' as a default, to be honest. In general I over think everything until it drives me crazy, so i'm hoping this is something i'll get over. I wouldn't want our friendship to change, really.

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  • jensapa
    13 years ago

    I reckon it's normal to feel confused about feelings for a good friend. Especially if u spend a lot of time together an share a lot of inner thoughts an feelings.

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  • TyLee
    13 years ago

    The important thing to remember is that sexuality is not set in stone... It can grow and change over time as you do. It is possible to be bisexual or even gay if you thought that you were straight and vice versa. I thought that I was a lesbian for the longest time but then I realized I was actually bi. The best advice I can give is that your sexuality is like a journey and it's not about labels it's about how you feel. So if you like this girl than you are totally normal. If you have no chance because she is straight try dating other girls that you think are cute and see how you like it.

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  • randomjelly
    13 years ago

    I think this is totally normal...especially between female friends. We form a connection that is very "relationship-like" and it can sometimes get confusing. On the other hand I wouldn't worry so much about the gay/bi/straight label. If you do have intimate feelings for your friend...it's ok and it's up to you if you want to continue to allow these feelings to grow and see where it leads or if you want to halt things before they go any further.

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