Is it normal to feel ashamed to be a female because of this?

My own mom was a full time homemaker, as was my wife until our finances brought us to our knees. Both of them worked their fingers to the bone.

Full time parents, regardless of gender, deserve respect. You'd be surprised how quickly the home falls apart without your mom maintaining order. Give her a "vacation" for a week and you'll see what I mean.

It's not submissive or subservient being a full time homemaker. It's an honorable, overtime job.

I believe being a good homemaker is every bit as difficult and challenging as being the breadwinner. You don't get weekends off, nor is it only an 8 hour a day job.
You have to put up with everything from sick children to broken appliances, scheduling your day around the needs of your children, their school, sports, extracurricular activities and a husband's needs. Shopping for food, especially if one is going to get the best value, may require visiting several markets, watching for sales and even clipping coupons. Shopping for clothes for the kids, school supplies, etc. can't be a great deal of fun, but it must be done.
Cooking good, healthy meals every single day can be tedious and time consuming and keeping a house clean couldn't be considered anything more than boring and tedious, could it?
That your mom may have some free time during the day for "drives around, buys coffee, watches TV, jogs, etc." can't be held against her, as everyone deserves a bit of time for themselves, don't they?
Many homemakers must do all the above on a budget that probably leaves very little leftover, for her needs and desires.
I think you underestimate the commitment and responsibility a housewife has to her job and family and I think every full time homemaker deserves a round of applause, not derision. My hat's off to your mom.

Interesting, not once have you mentioned how your father feels about all of this. I'd be willing to bet you dad enjoys having your mother as housewife to do all the cooking and cleaning. Your mom probably jogs to stay in shape for him. Get over it!

Ensure you don't become what your mother is like if you do not want to be that way.

I think it is respectable for someone that is female to look at the difference between a working man and a stay at home partner and not see it as fair, because people will complain and fight tooth and nail to "try" make it seem like the work is somehow equal.

Despite this, do not feel "ashamed" to be female, just because some females are like this doesn't mean "you" are going to be like this. Just ensure that you keep this thought process with you, because I'm sure guys would appreciate someone bringing in some money aswell.

It may seem common that men pay, pay, pay while their wives don't however statistics will show that most households are two-income at least in my country, America. Most guys aren't paying while their wives aren't as male single income households are at 8%...so yeah your scenario at least for my country is not common. It's more like both partners work and then the gal comes home to do more work doing all/most of the household and childcare duties.

I doubt your father feels she is a burden as she is doing the childcare duties, household duties, and seems to be keeping up her looks.

I am a mother of two and I work my ass off full time at a nursing home. But dear let me tell you don't ever take your mom forgranted! because being a full time mommy is by far the hardest,mind boggling,stressful job I've ever had but the most rewarding. I'm sure your parents discussed her staying at home so you and your sibling/siblings could have the best life possible.because most of the time when both work and have kids it causes fights because the household chores fail to be done and not always but a lot of the time men don't like or care to do chores, so it's left all on the woman also they tend not to be able to multi task as well as mothers working or not I get shit done such as Dr.appts,dentist appts,,grocery shopping, cleaning,etc...So you shouldn't be ashamed you should look up to her because most likely she pushed her goals aside to be a mother and a wife full time!.To make.sure you are all happy,healthy and have.everything you have ever wanted.for. it's ashame you would see so little in someone who does so much!.just wait.one day you'll possibly have your own children and you will see that she is the one lady you should never take forgranted!!

In today's society, this kind of household is rare because it's near impossible to maintain. I definitely see where you are coming from as I had a VERY similar situation when I was growing up before it all fell apart. And because of that experience and a few others, I strongly believe that a household operating in this way is not very good.

However don't feel ashamed. If everyone is happy then it's not a huge deal. and if it is bad then it isn't your fault and you shouldn't feel shame just for being a female. Media will have you believe that it's always the women that stay home while the dad works 24/7. There are TONS of stay at home dads out there while the woman works her ass off. In either case though, whether it's the mom or dad working or staying home, It's very difficult.

Today's successful, happy relationships and families split the work load 50-50. Both people work jobs, take care of the house, pay for living expenses, and help with the kids if there are any. I am a strong believer in this.

Don't worry that just because you are female or that this is how you brought up, that you are somehow at risk for a bad situation. not to say that yours is necessarily bad. But your future is what you make it. When you are given the opportunity, I'm sure you and your partner will design a happy, functional, fair household. You'll be alright :)