Is it normal to feel an immediate connection with someone online?

83% Normal
11 Comments

Ok so about a month ago, I was on the website ask.fm, and I came across this guy. Yes, initially, I did like him for superficial reasons - he has basically every single good quality in a male that I personally like. He has dimples, a lovely smile, blue eyes, a good dress sense and pride in his appearance. He looks after himself, and you can tell. So yes, in the beginning, I was simply ridiculously attracted to him. But then I scrolled down a few of his answers and I found out some things about him, and he was great. We had a lot in common - we love nature, photography, music, clothes, food, sport... And having read about 10 answers, I had this feeling as if I really knew him. As if I had been his friend for years. As if he knew me too, and we just knew each other, and I felt a very strange emotional connection with him that I still feel. A few days later I sent him a message and we had a bit of to and fro banter, we had a laugh, and at that point I just felt like I'd known him forever. I looked down through a lot of his page and he is pretty much the male version of me, it's really strange. I can't really explain it. We are just so similar in the way we talk, act etc. He is 3 years older than me, and as far as I know, he seems absolutely lovely. I've also found out that he is best friends with someone else I know, which is strange. He's funny, slightly crazy, and just so /me/. I click with him, even though I don't know him. We've had a few conversations but I almost feel scared that if I talk to him too much, he'll see me as clingy, and I don't want to ruin any chances I have with this guy. I don't know if it's normal, but since the first time I ever looked at his page, just at a few things he said, I just felt an extremely strong connection with him. He lives about 180 miles from me, but I am somehow completely infatuated with him. It's not creepy, I'm not a weirdo, I just feel like we would get along so very well and I don't know how to explain it. Is it normal though, to feel this sort of immediate emotional connection with a person over the internet? And what should I do about it?

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 40 votes (33 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • 69
    10 years ago

    yes, very normal. it could either mean that you're very lonely and looking for someone to get attached to and projecting on him the things you want in a guy based on superficial info you've collected, or that you were meant to be. you're not so far apart physically so i'd give it a shot. unless you're prone to having your heart broken

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thank you very much.

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  • justaverage
    10 years ago

    This is 100% normal. I came across a forum online that I have since struck up great friendships with people all over the world. One guy I immediately clicked with, and we talked a lot, for long periods of time and just really got along. We had different interests but similar personalities that just complimented each other's so well. I had such a huge crush on him. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did, and it happened fast. Unfortunately the 3,500 miles between us meant that it wasn't going to go anywhere which is a real shame and I still wonder what would have happened if we had met in person to this day. Some day I would really like to meet him and see if we click in person too, even if it's just as friends. My advice to you would be this: If you click with someone, you click. If you're compatible with them, you're compatible. Just because you met online doesn't mean that you like each other's personality any more or less in person. I'd say go for it while you can... Online relationships fade away over time with no proper memories between you. If you have a connection with someone, pursue it and see where it takes you. Why not right?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thank you very much! I've also met 3 of my best friends from the internet, and met all of them in person. I suppose, when looking at other online relationships/friendships, there's hardly any distance between us really. Thanks again.

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  • DragonQueen
    10 years ago

    Can't you just meet someone in person. That's The way we used to to it. Just go to your local bus stop. And wear something Sexay. That's how I met my husband of sixteen years.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I see what you mean, but I'd just like to say... It's not quite as easy as that when you live where I do. I don't have a lot of money and so the area I live in is full of scummy pushovers - I'd rather not! Also, I found this guy online, and I connect with him - so I connect with him, that's not my choice. I appreciate your comment but it's easier said than done!

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      • DragonQueen
        10 years ago

        That's understandable, I guess times are different now. And a good man is hard to find, even a slightly decent one. But I just don't trust this online meeting. Maybe because I used to meet guys,in person. Well if he offers to meet you. Then go ahead, But let him ask you. Don't ask him. Or you will come off as desparate. Good luck to you!

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          I'd also just like to put out there that I have met 3 of my best friends through the internet - one's in Cornwall, one's in London and one's in Newcastle - and I have met them all in person, so I have met people I click with before online. But this is the first person I've clicked with this much. I spoke to him 'live' for the first time the other day over video chat, but yes, I will wait for him to make the move on meeting. Thank you very much!!

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          • DragonQueen
            10 years ago

            Your welcome dear. Good luck.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Since you two are so similar, do you think he might be obsessively screening your online personality the same way you are doing to him?

    It's fairly normal to see a lot of positive attributes in someone you find physically attractive, it's human nature to do so.

    If you like this guy and he's single, do something about it before someone else does.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Oo I love the ending sentence here, thank you very much. I'm not entirely sure what he gets up to, to be honest! I'll drop him a message in a bit. Thank you again.

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