Is it normal to feel alone in your marriage?

Sounds like he wasn't ready to grow up and commit. Perhaps he isn't the one for you, and that's ok. Just be honest and find the most adult way possible to make your great escape.

It takes two people to make a marriage work and sometimes it can be helped by the efforts of one person.

It's good that you're getting some counseling because you're husband has essentially tuned you out of his life.

It doesn't sound, at this point, like you're marriage will survive because you are the only one that gives a crap about it. At least you don't have any children to consider. You need to start putting your own needs first for a while. If your hubby want to be on his own, let him. I hope you have stopped cooking his meals and cleaning up after him; he doesn't deserve it.

When you choose to get married again one day, hopefully you will choose someone who will treat you like the sun rises and sets on you alone. That's how my husband treats me and I wouldn't settle for anything less.

Sweetheart, DUMP this LOSER! There are plenty of good men(I think)out there for you. You just got to look in the right places. be strong and don't settle for less, that will lead to a lifetime of misery.

Great first step seeking help, give that a chance before running, and try to remember why you married him!

try having been married for 17 years, having 5 kids... and a husband who is in a totally different State so you literally NEVER get to see him, all because he doesn't feel like he can get work here so he decided to leave to go to School and get a job and a home for us there so we can all be together again. (I guess you can tell whose situation I am talking about!)
I think you know that you want your marriage to work, and that is why you are seeing a therapist, right? I am seeing one myself because of my depression with being lonely and having a husband who doesn't understand my feelings. Since your husband could go with you to your therapist, I would seriously ask him to come with you if he wants the marriage to work, and wants advice on how to do so...if he doesn't want the marriage to work, though, I guess that is your way of knowing it is time to move on! I hope you find much happiness whatever you decide to do! Best of luck and God bless!

I just wanted to give everyone a little update -- my husband ended up coming with me to counseling and we have been going every week for the past month. I cannot tell you how much it has helped, even saved our marriage. I went in with the feeling that counseling would just shed light on how messed up our marriage was, so he wouldn't be totally blindsided when I left him, but he has made a total 180 and I think that things are going to work out really well for us :)

We've been reading a chapter of ''The 5 Love Languages'' every night, he sleeps in the bed every night, we are more affectionate now than when we were daiting, and we are both working on our communication with eachother. It feels really good to see how hard he is working and I think it's important to update everyone and say that I am so happy with where our relationship is today! The hard work is definintly paying off!

I have known my husband for 10ish years married for 9 this year. many of the same issues reside in my failing marriage. I am tired of feeling crappy and worthless in my marriage, so I am moving away for college. LOL a girl my age moving away for college, funny. But its what I am doing to either solidify that apart is better, or shake it up at home that change is needed. I have put A LOT of effort into it, but noting has gotten better. DO NOT FEEL BAD for wanting more.

Run girl!
Sound like you've grown up but he hasn't. They say the brain is still developing until 25, and as men mature later - maybe he will at 27.
Don't live a life like this, you are at your best time of life so get out there and enjoy it before it's too late.

I'm biased, because I am familiar with this story. Its not supposed to be lonely, and it isn't supposed to be like that. It took me awhile to realize many of the things you described were happening, and I confronted her about it. We went to a therapist. No help. I don't think she even understands the problem and there is nothing I can say or do that will help. We can't even talk about it without me being accused of being mean when I try to state my needs. Its selfish, and it isn't fair to me or to you. I did everything I could, and I finally threw in the towel and filed for divorce. I hope you don't have to do this and that you can fix it. I don't regret anything I did or am doing about it. Marriage should not be lonely. If it is, your doing it wrong.

What a piece of shit. Seriously you should just leave this loser and start a better life before its to late.

@moomus, I think a lot of marrying him was that at the time it felt like the logical next step. Although maybe he felt pressure to propose before he was ready. We broke up freshman year of college for similar reasons but ended up getting back together 6 months later because it was a small campus and we shared a lot of the same friends. Also, I really do love him but I think the spark has pretty much died at this point. I've been trying to talk to him about these issues since day one, but he doesn't compromise and I think he pretends that nothings wrong by just ignoring the issues.

@missclaire & flax, we've had that discussion a million times.... so I guess you've made a pretty good point. I'm considering moving out by the end of the summer, just afraid I guess because we've been through so much and been together for so long. Also, I guess there's a little bit of pride getting in the way of admitting defeate at 25. Thank god we don't have kids or own a house.

@nadim, I don't think he's depressed as much as he misses college life and isn't ready to grow up. I also have a feeling that he isn't happy in our marriage either, but is stayinig out of comfort.

Also thanks for your comments @noginockr and @ygrowup... basically this was the confermation I needed to know I'm not some crazy person with too high expectations. I really need to grow a backbone and stick up for myself... so I appreciate the input!

He is depressed and most likely has regrets marrying you so you should definitely break it off

^^ agreed. Don't enable the behavior and start living your life for yourself. He is clearly doing the same and does not wish to be part of the relationship. Also know that you aren't doing anything wrong or out of the ordinary. Sorry buy he's a douche and doesn't deserve the effort you go through for him. He's obviously mummy's little boy so let her deal with him.

He is taking advantage of you - HOWEVER - you let him. If I were you I would have a talk with him and explain your expectations in this marriage, he will tell you his and if he expects to remain a child then you have a decision to make....

Not normal. Why did you Marry this guy? Did he all of a sudden change or was he always like this and you hoped marriage would change him? Sounds like the only thing you can do is confront him and tell him to shape up or ship out.