Is it normal to feel a loss after an abortion

Set aside the moral questions...

You found yourself in an extremely difficult position without the support of someone you had expected you could depend on. You were forced into something you didn't want to do by this person in what you consciously or subconsciously (and justly) judge to be a deep betrayal. Now that feeling of betrayal, coupled with the sense of loss that is native to your morality, has overwhelmed you with regret and sadness.

I can't tell you what will happen. Guilt may consume you, or you may allow time to give you relief and perspective. People often find themselves confronted by moral dilemmas and forced to choose solutions that looked bad and then seem worse with time.

I am pro-choice. And that's what it means--choice. It was wrong that you had to experience this situation without the support you needed. It is entirely possible that given the chance to think it over, clearly and without pressure, you would have decided upon the same action and terminated the pregnancy. But we don't know that. We only know what happened and how you feel right now.

Given your situation it is normal to feel loss. But let it go and give hope a chance. You appear intelligent and thoughtful. We all do things that we wish we could undo. It's what we do the next day that makes the difference and is the first step toward a recovery.

Omg all these religious freaks are so annoying! At 8 weeks it's not a baby it's an embryo! And you made the right choice because you don't want to bring kids into a life of poverty.

Abortion is your choice. After my abortion, I was so relieved, and I am a much happier person knnowing that I will never have to take care of it. Some people take it differently I guess. I will never understand why people get so upset over abortion.

It is completely normal! You were in a difficult situation. Ignore the nasty comments, some people have different beliefs. You did what you thought was right and you will feel sad for the loss. Hope your ok

norcalbuddha.... looks like 'buddha' needs to find a little more compassion.

norcalbuddha

mmmm at 8 weeks there is absolutely no guarentee that that embryo would have made it to viability anyways. What a self righteous, and hateful comment, to sombody whose situation you couldn't possibly understand.

To the poster:

That sounds like it was a really tough decision for you. Have you conscidered finding a support group (besides this website :))? I know around where I live there are resources for women who have had abortions to help them cope with their very normal and natural feelings of loss and grief. This might help you through this?

It's normal to morn and feel regret. However, I don't think you can place all this blame on your boyfriend. You were willing enough to go and get it done.

Someone once told me the ONLY one who can give a life or take a life is God, and everything is as it should be, although we cant see the bigger picture. I found it to be comforting.

My mother had to have one because I was young and I need a mother more than a brother and being pregnant would have killed her. She has recently opened up and stills mourns him often. Mothers have an attachment that's just a part of our instincts.

Next time, tell him "tough shit, life happens." if you want it, you want it. No man should ever make a decision for you.

Some of these comments are so narrow minded. Of course it is normal to feel loss and even to grieve for what could have been. You were in a difficult situation and a choice was made, you are allowed to regret it.

Is this loverofbunnies? If so, i truly sympathize with your decision, which while difficult, was quite understandable, and, of course you are right to feel loss. I hope whoever you are you will be more careful.

I feel as tho u laid down and made the baby you both should be responsible enough to take care of it. Never make a decision based on what the man wants. Ughhh come on. Don't kill a part of u for him cause if the shoes was on the other foot he wouldn't do it for u

Men are allways like that. They are affraid of serious things like marriage and babies! But, when it happens they are happy most of the times. But there is another side of the medal: if you have left the baby, and if he would have been angry and would not love this baby, try to imagine how the baby would feel about it all? The baby would not have the love of the father. But anyway, it was a person already, and he has a destiny, and that abortion was his destiny!

I accidently pressed no when Ieant yes. It is normal to feel a lose after an abortion. It also means u have a heart unlike some people in the world.

You took someone's life. You can't blame your boyfriend if the baby was in your body. You had the ultimate decision. When (or if) you break up (and this may cause a break up) you will fully understand the scale of what you've done...especially if you have kids later on...they could have had a brother or sister.

The whole thing is sad. A baby died. What normal human wouldn't be sad.