Is it normal to feed people?

81% Normal
7 Comments

I only ask because I thought that this was normal but it's not something any of my neighbours do.

This issue arose because I've always fed my son's friends with snacks, or dinner if we're having some, and never thought anything about it. We live in a very wealthy area BUT when my son visits his friends' houses, the parents call their children away to eat with them and leave mine watching TV or outside on his own. In fact, he has noticed that some of his friends sneak off to eat, and then come back to him.

His friends are amazed that my son can eat (and share) any food I have that he wants, without asking me for permission. I only mean fruit, snacks, lemonade, etc. he's not handing out the contents of my freezer. He's not snacking close to a meal time to ruin his dinner either. His friends would have to ask their parents for a grape!

I will never change but I have noticed that my son is starting to resent it. I have told him not to hang around to be insulted if they're going to eat without inviting him.

I'm honestly asking for a sensible answer, the neighbours are not poor, it's not a religious issue, and two of the mothers are actually psychologists. others are doctors and teachers, etc. I grew up without a lot of money or treats so is it my issue or is there some etiquette I don't know about?

Voting Results
81% Normal
Based on 57 votes (46 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Oli
    12 years ago

    What is this madness? All my friends and I offer food, and even though I'm poor and sonmetimes can't afford to give it I still give them a snack or dinner. It's common courtesy.

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  • emilydoll
    12 years ago

    It's a personal choice but I see where you're coming from. I can see why you're offended but just stay how you are and don't take it personally. Try not to. But I can see why you are insulted. You're a godparent.

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  • Ihavrnoarms
    12 years ago

    Dom180 lives in a parallel universe, ignore them.

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  • Ihavrnoarms
    12 years ago

    It's rude to not offer food. You're doing the right thing and I think the other parents, if what you're saying is true, are just stingy and tight!

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    12 years ago

    You're not really suggesting that if my son is playing at his pal's house and the mom decides to prepare some lunch, my son should go and ask her if he can have some?! You mean, that another mom has no consideration for anyone else's child? I don't believe that! There must be some deep issue with that mom.

    My family would consider it extremly rude and if a child came to my house, we divide out what we have made into slightly smaller portions! It's not a problem. Food is not an issue in my home and I genuinely don't understand how it is in other people's!

    As I grew up within a large family, the attitude to people was always the more the merrier and I don't believe I ever had to ASK if someone could stay for dinner, it was automatically assumed they would stay - as it would never have occurred to anyone to ask them to leave. It's only another potato in the pot surely!?

    Surely to God, people are not that selfish!

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    • Allistalla
      11 years ago

      Yes it is comman manners to offer food. I am always offered drinks or food by parents when I go to freinds houses nomatter how poor or rich they are its a courtesy . My mother and father aswell would yell at me if I did not offer my guests food which I always did and if my freind was over late we would always say " Hey would you like some dinner ? "

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  • dom180
    12 years ago

    It isn't rude for most people not to offer food, especially if you didn't ask for it before it was being made. The parents probably haven't even considered it. It just isn't something most people worry about. They will probably think "Your kids, your responsibility".

    And ffs, don't screw up your kids friendship by making a big issue out of it. Have a quiet word with the parents if you think it's a problem, but they'll probably disagree.

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