Is it normal to fantasize about my best friends?

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1 Comment

Okay, so. I'm a girl. I've never been close to a lot of people. In all of junior high and most of high school, I was the token loner kid. Then one day, a person in one of my classes introduced me to some people who are into the same sort of stuff I am, and I got to know some people. A year later, two of the girls I met, we'll call them Jaquiline and Jane, why not, were my very best friends. We three were never seen without each other, and I finally felt like I had someone, two someones, who I could turn to indefinetly. Only in my head, things started going deeper than that.. Sometimes I'd write romance fiction-type stuff with Jaquiline, we were writing a thing together, and our characters were lovers. And, well, over time, I started replacing her character with her, and my character with me.. And then at one point, Jane and I were contamplating living together in a dorm for collage (that plan's been scrapped, sadly), and I started thinking about that, too, in ways I knew I shouldn't have.. I feel so terrible for having these sorts of thoughts about people who shouldn't be anything more than my best friends, but.. I don't know. But, both of them, I mean.. I think you get it, anyways. Is this even sorta normal?

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81% Normal
Based on 59 votes (48 yes)
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Comments ( 1 )
  • JustCHELlin246
    12 years ago

    This story does not sound uncommon. I feel like I don't have enough wisdom to tell you what course of action to take, but I'll share my similar story if that might help :)
    Ok, so I'm an average 18 year old girl with an identical twin sister. During sophomore year in high school me and my sister didn't really have strong friends. But, I sat by this girl that seemed to laugh at all my jokes and really be interested in me. Before you know it me, my sister, and (lets call her Jen for the sake of the "J" name disguises) were inseparable. Some of my happiest, ROFL moments were with Jen and my sister. She was the first friend I opened up to about alot of things. I too remember writing "love" notes; She would rave about how she loved everything about me and how I was her "lesbian lover" and the sort. And I loved and craved the attention. I had never had anyone be that involved in me before, or want to. It only was until I started opening my eyes and seeing how utterly toxic our 3-some (for lack of a better term) had become. She manipulated me and my sister to fight for her affections and turned us against each other for a bit. All is well over a year later, me and my sister learned to value giving each other independence and Jen can't look either of us in the eye.
    In relation to your story. 3-somes are almost always toxic in the end, the attention-division just does not work in my mind. Also, make sure these are TRUE friends. Don't like people just because they give you tons of attention. If all of this cautionary advice is turning you off, talk to them, or her about it. Don't be embarassed to admit you are longing for a romantic relationship and are getting confused by your relationships with either of them. Hope I wasn't just a bore! Good luck!

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