Is it normal to falsely compliment someone's kids?

87% Normal
16 Comments

My boss has a teenaged daughter who is his pride and joy. He raves about how beautiful she is and how he has trouble keeping boys away from her. He talks about her aspirations to be an actress and he shows me pictures of her and her friends and when he does this I agree with his statements of her attractiveness and even pop in a few myself.

The issue is that I don't find her attractive at all. I mean, I guess she is cute but she does nothing for me. I don't have exceptionally high standards, a woman does not need to be a super-model to attract me but this girl does absolutely nothing for me.

I find myself doing this often when it comes to parents talking about their kids. Even if their kids are barely intelligent enough to screw in a light bulb or barely coordinated enough to hit the broad side of a barn with a baseball bat, when their parents compliment them and brag about them I feel it rude not to agree. It's almost as if I'd be violating a social courtesy if I disagreed with them.

Is it normal to falsely compliment someone's kids?

Voting Results
87% Normal
Based on 91 votes (79 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • Silivrin1
    11 years ago

    Yes. Parents tend to have a sort of bias towards their kids, in that they find them more beautiful/talented/special than others, simply due to the fact that the kids are THEIRS. Pride is a very natural reaction in parents, because most of the time their kids are everything to them; their love, effort and care all packed into one small being.

    How could anyone try to tell them that their one pride & joy is not as great as they think? What you're going through here is a very basic social construct: politeness. I think anyone who has some interpersonal awareness is smart enough not to disagree with someone who expresses their utmost love to something. You would react this way to anything: Haircuts, cars, artwork... Anything that doesn't in some way demand constructive criticism or argumentative opinion.

    What you're doing is one of the most fundamental social constructs in organized society. Did that not occur to you?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Yes and no.

      The kind of people that I hang around preach the doctrine of saying whatever you want and not caring about how others feel and apply this to virtually every situation in their lives and it seems to be a popular trend.

      I honestly don't know where the threshold between lying and politeness is sometimes.

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      • Silivrin1
        11 years ago

        Hmm. Well I suppose its very important to be honest, and its also important (in most situations) not to care what other people think of you or let that change you, but I think there is a limit.

        This doctrine you describe is strange to me. It's all well and good to not be phased by other people's opinions, but you do need to take into account the feelings of others every now and again. You're not the only person in the world and if you want to get along in life you have to be a little bit considerate of others.

        Sometimes politeness requires lying. Its not always the most dignified thing you can do, and has a lot of grey areas (is it better to lie to someone to avoid hurting them or tell them the truth?). Maybe its better to suffer a little invisible indignity than to hurt others, right? If everyone cared only about themselves what kind of a society would this be? Not even a society, by rights.
        (I'll stop now before I go into Locke and Hobbes)

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          Haha, no need. I'm pretty well aware of the teachings of said societal philosophers.

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  • Dad
    11 years ago

    This topic is useless.
    Everyone knows MY kids are the best.

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    • blondbond69
      11 years ago

      Awhh dad I think youre the best too

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  • N3VVRmiNd
    11 years ago

    People do it ALL THE TIME. Like when they post pictures of newborns on FB, No one really wants to see those ugly ass heaps of drool. But they say "awwww" and "so cute" THEY'RE LYING. I never lie about babies. They're all ugly.

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  • Ldizzy1234
    11 years ago

    To be honest with you, I can't stand parents that rave and brag about their kids. I mean, it doesn't matter so much to me when they're little, but when they get to be teenagers or young adults, I think 'Come on!!'. It just gets annoying. Which leaves me doing the same thing as you sometimes. Just agree with them, and let it be. So we don't have any friction. Its understandable.

    I also think that parents will probably find their kids beautiful regardless, but she could very well be attractive for all I know. I don't know. But don't feel ashamed for not thinking shes as amazing as her parents make her out to be. If she doesn't do it for ya, she doesn't do it for ya! Its fine. But her dad/mom is gonna always think she's their little angel probably forever. Gaaaahhh! Gag me. :p

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  • Leafy
    11 years ago

    I think you are very kind,and sensitive,and yes ,it.s normal to be the above. It would not be normal if you disagreed with your boss about his daughter. It would be downright nasty! X

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  • Retard73
    11 years ago

    I always tell the truth the other day i met a women with a retarded and ugly twins i slapped them both for being retard

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    yes it's normal or polite don't want to offend the mother or father they will mess you up

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  • KeddersPrincess
    11 years ago

    Nothing wrong with it. Even if you don't actually feel that way, it's good to be nice.

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  • thanksforthefreecar
    11 years ago

    Well, you have to falsely complement the kids or the parents get all offended and angry, and you have to deal with that. And he is your boss at work, if he doesn't like you, you could lose your job. But parents with infants are the worst

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  • PapzBSlim
    11 years ago

    I see no reason to start having enemies lol.

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  • Justsomejerk
    11 years ago

    My sense of humour is just dry enough to enjoy complementing others kids.

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  • kelili
    11 years ago

    Sometimes you just have to do it.

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