Is it normal to fall in love with a married guy?

64% Normal
8 Comments

I met a guy about two years ago and instantly hit it off. We went on dates, he wined and dined me. However, I was 17 at the time and he was 25. Save the comments on that, I know it was wrong. Anyway, we kind of got into a relationship and I slowly fell for him. However, he's from Illinois and I live in ohio. He decided about 5 months into us 'talking' or whatever he wanted to go back to Illinois. I just want to mention, we had sex. A lot of sex. Once he went back we continued things over the internet. Dirty pictures, Skype sex sessions, ect. He almost always instigated this, but I was all for it.

I knew the entire time he had something going on with a girl back home but I didn't really care at the time. Well he want back to Illinois for good in April, and we continued talking and skyping and stuff. Then in July he tells me he's getting engaged, and married in November. Nothing changed between us, we continued skyping and talking. Then last week I found is (now wife's) facebook and see they got engaged last march, while he was here. And today he told me he doesn't think we should talk anymore, that it's not healthy and he shouldn't have talked to me in the first place. Is it normal for me to be completely head over heels in love with this guy?

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 33 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • LyeByMistake
    9 years ago

    Oh well, he used you for extra sex while engaged , he wins you lose.

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  • (.)(.)boobies
    9 years ago

    You must feel very hurt by his betrayal and lies. He must have liked you a lot to carry on the affair for that long. He probably chose to be with the other girl because it was more practical and in some way suited his vision for his future.

    The things he told you today, although hurtful, he only said them to cover his own ass. It's beginning to dawn on him the hot water he'd be in if you were to get in touch with his wife and tell her the truth about your relationship with him.

    It is normal that you still love him. Despite the heartless way he's treated you recently, you did have a relationship with him for quite a long time. It may not have been an ideal relationship but that doesn't mean your feelings for each other were less real. He has moved on, chosen someone else to be with, and your left to sort out the mess on your own.

    You deserve to be with someone who makes you the only priority in their life. You won't find anyone exactly the same as him, no one will ever fit with you just like he did. But, eventually, you'll meet someone who's different and who you can appreciate and love just as much, or more.

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    • (.)(.)boobies
      9 years ago

      *you're left to...

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    What you're feeling ain't love, it's lust. From what you're describing in your post this thing you thought was a relationship wasn't a love relationship, because it was only about sex, there was no substance. I'm sorry, but this older man used you for sex when he was engaged. Accept that you were rejected and try to learn from this experience.

    I'm not trying to insult you or hurt your feelings, but this dirt bag was cheating on his fiancée with you and lying to both of you.

    I feel sorry for his fiancée, she's about to marry a sex addict and possibly ruin her life if she stays with him.

    I hope you can get over this and learn to discern what is an isn't an honest, loving relationship. I wish you all the best! Checkout these links:

    http://saa-recovery.org/Meetings/
    http://www.cosa-recovery.org/

    Also check out this book, Don't Call It Love: Recovery from Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Why is it that girls just have to fuck around with guys they know, deep down inside, are going to hurt them? You knew, from the get go, this shithead had another girl, but you jumped in head first, anyway. Did you think he's fall for you so hard he'd leave the other girl? Even after he said he was engaged?
    You really deserve any pain and heartache that you get from this one, honey.

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    • yesterdaysnews95
      9 years ago

      Yeah your right, maybe I did deserve it. But there aren't many people in the world you can trust yourself to fully, and he became someone I could. I never expected him to leave to go back, or to get engaged but by then I had already given myself to him.

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  • Parky_Parker
    9 years ago

    Those feelings are valid and normal. But what you did was wrong, and if you don't realize it yet, you will soon. You lost, the wife lost, and this man is winning for now. The tables will turn for him as well, though. Karma doesn't care about charm.

    Just take it as the life lesson that it is. If you learn from it, then great.

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  • PrincessEmeraldii
    9 years ago

    An affar? In my kingdom? This shall not pass!

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