Is it normal to expect any justice in this world

58% Normal
26 Comments

Hello, am i asking too much? all i want is some form of justice or is it revenge ?I was physically raped and physiology abused when i was a teenager by catholic priests (3). every thing i have experienced since then has been tainted by what they did to me.there is no joy in my life.I cannot commit fully to anything. i hate myself,every time i am on the verge of success,I sabotage my self.i go out of the way to screw things up.
Am i using what they did to me as an excuse for my failures.I am hurting and feeling terrible . some times I am angry and want to track down and kill the bastards who hurt me,but most of the times I just want to end my torment and kill myself.The third choice is the courts . The only thing stopping me is my wife,son and mother.there is pain and suffering with every choice i make.

Voting Results
58% Normal
Based on 12 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • TF4H
    8 years ago

    You are just in the way you feel and have every right to want to hurt them back. The world is sometimes cruel and often is to many.
    It's cliche to say, hear, and see on motivational posters in waiting rooms but here it is anyways. Don't check out of the world. You can rise above and should. You will be better for it. It already sounds like you're on a better road.
    You're in-tune with your emotions. You recongize self destructive behavior and you're holding yourself accountable for your actions.
    The next step will be to step up and move on.
    You will always be angry and hurt for what happened to you. You have every right to (I emphasize that).
    I know I'm a stranger and what I said might sound like crap or you might feel I'm disregarding what you've said. But, I personally understand the trusts issues and other things you've mentioned. Even over time, my pain still feels raw. It's taken me over 15 years to be able to not let my past dictate my present actions (and I fail often).
    I know it'd be hypocritical for me to advise you to, perhaps, see a counselor (if you're not currently).
    I sincerely hope your life will be less burdensome.

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    • tree-climber
      8 years ago

      Thankyou,

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    Have you had counselling for what happened to you? You're not the only one and you don't have to carry this burden alone: there are thousands of people all over the world abused by predatory priests and there are support groups for victim survivors. I strongly suggest you find one of these groups: what country are you in?

    I don't understand the reference to your wife, son and mother: surely it would be better for them (as well as for you) if you got some support to deal with this. If you haven't already told them about it, support groups will help you and them with this issue.

    You don't have to live the rest of your life in this pain and I hope you can find the right support soon. Speaking from personal experience, the longer you put off dealing with it in a supportive environment, the harder it will be to heal.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    You have a choice.
    You can use what happened to you as an excuse for a miserable life, or you can have a great life in spite of it all.
    Which sounds better to you?

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      Using the term "excuse" is a callous put down of someone who's been abused. Do you think OP can just decide to have a great life with a snap of the fingers? If so, you're showing your ignorance of the longterm effects of childhood abuse

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        Yes, actually I do. MOST people who have shitty upbringings go on to have good lives. It is a choice!
        It's people like you who always comfort and coddle those with problems that become a crutch for their continued misery. Give the poor soul a pill so he can't feel the pain.
        So the OP had a tough up bringing, most of us did. Suck it up and get on with life. Any adult can wake one morning and say, "I'm not going to do it the same today. I'm going to do it all different, from what I eat to what I wear." Ride a different bus or drive a different route to work, listening to different music. And you know what, baring my 'ignorance of the longterm effects of childhood abuse' IT FUCKING WORKS! It is a tiny step in the right direction. Not sitting around pissing and crying about what CANNOT be changed.
        You have a perfect right to your opinion, as do I, so take your wishy washy advice and give it to the OP. There always multiple ways to achieve a goal, you know.

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        • Ellenna
          8 years ago

          Were you sexually abused as a child or young person? Have you worked extensively with victim survivors of sexual abuse? No of course you haven't: if you knew anything you'd know that it's almost impossible to recover from those experiences without good support and that's where I was directing OP. In no way did I suggest anything resembling a crutch or a pill and If you think counselling about child sexual abuse is an easy ride you're even more ignorant than I already thought you were.

          Any good counsellor with experience in sexual abuse issues would not be comforting or coddling but providing a supportive challenge to the client to make changes in his life at his own pace and would be suggesting far more lifechanging options than superficial crap such as riding a different bus or listening
          to different music: pop psychology at its worst.

          Of course people can choose to change their lives, but some experiences are so damaging they can't do that on their own and need some help.

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          • thegypsysailor
            8 years ago

            No, you weren't "directing (the) OP". You were criticizing my advice. Why bother, I don't care what you think of my posts. Not one fucking little tiny bit. It was NOT directed towards you or about you.
            Make your comments to the OP and stop assuming anything about my background or psychological credentials, because you don't KNOW shit, lady. Not shit!

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            • Ellenna
              8 years ago

              My comment about directing the OP was in response to your ignorant criticism of the suggestions I'd posted to him and you were replying to my post, so how was that not directed towards me?

              So it's ok for you to comment on my post but I'm only supposed to comment directly to the OP? Feeling particularly illogical and unreasonable today, aren't you? Do you ever actually read your posts before you send them off?

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