Is it normal to enjoy self- inflicted pain?
I have always loved to make my gum bleed, to punch my nose and bend it painfully, to have my feet and hands smashed and making my wounds worse. I get this amazing pleasure, this spectacular feeling of joy and a little pride when I dig at my gums till they bleed and then brushing them with painful toothpaste and brushes. It sounds weird, I know, but I remember always putting the chair legs of chairs I was using on my toes ever since kidergarden. I used to hold my pee in as long as I could because i liked the pain of holding it in. It is actually really addicting. I don't enjoy having people hurt me emotionally or anything, but I love pain for the most part. Sometimes, when I think of pain, I get all happy and a need to hurt myself. I don't cut, for some reason cutting never appealed to me, but I do myself quite a bit of damage.