Is it normal to enjoy sadness?

73% Normal
6 Comments

I'm a 19 year old male in college, and I spend the majority of my time trying to become self-actualized through introspection. During this search I've gone through many phases of "self discovery"; but my current is the most interesting by far. While confronting the meaninglessness of life, I adopted a strange type of nihilism; i became alarmingly unemotional for a time. But coming out of it, I have this unbridled appreciation for complex emotions; whether they are "negative" or not. I'm not sad all the time, or happy all the time; most of the time I fall deep in thought and don't feel much. But, when it occurs, I find deep fulfillment in sadness etc.... The only exceptions are -so far- anger and fear. I don't have tendencies for depression or anything else, though I do have an addictive personality. Has anyone else experienced this?

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73% Normal
Based on 26 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • A-Hor
    11 years ago

    I don't want to presume anything about you, but you sound very eerily similar to how I used to feel a few years ago. I'm 22 now, and also a male in college. And what I actually did was major in psychology because I had these similar roller coaster rides of complex emotions and numbness when I was growing up. Eventually, I discovered what the true source of some of my problems were. I realized that I experienced trauma when I was younger. I was molested by my sister when I was 8 or 9. For years, I blocked the memory out until something triggered me to remember when I was 15. And from then, I thought being molested was something that happened a long time ago, it was in the past and had no real effect on me. But just these past two years, not just from studying psych, but by seeking counseling as well, I realized that my whole life was greatly effected by this past. That's what trauma does. It alters your brain cells in such great ways that your emotions become so distorted and confusing. It can cause certain brain chemicals to stop being created, or replace your "good" chemicals with "stress" chemicals. Like I said before, I don't want to presume anything about you. For all I know, you could just be incredibly emotionally intelligent, and have the ability to appreciate the variety of emotions you feel. But I would suggest that you explore your past a bit more, and do this by talking with somebody. I have a feeling there's something a bit "deeper" here. I could be totally off the mark, but if there is something from your past that happened to cause you trauma, perhaps you might grasp a better sense of happiness in a more "normal" way. Whatever the hell "normal" means.

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  • dom180
    11 years ago

    I think I get what you mean, although it's hard to put into words. I do it sometimes, but I don't know if it's normal. When I'm sad I feel very resistant to anyone trying to pull me out of my sadness because I learn a lot about myself when I'm sad and looking inwards instead of outwards.

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    • prof.oak
      11 years ago

      That's similar to how I feel actually. But i feel that it's more of an appreciation and interest in the intensity and depth of certain emotions. I feel like I look at it subjectively; it's beautiful. But I've never heard anyone say anything like that, so I don't know if it's normal.

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  • ThinksWayTooMuch
    6 years ago

    Honestly I've been in a similar boat for a long time, though lately I've been coming out of it a bit. I'm 20 and a night time security guard. I still live with my parents because moving out is expensive. In my experience it's a bit of a trap. Because while there is a degree of self actualization, there's also a lot of questions that can't be answered. I never used to worry about a llot of the things I worry about now, because I'm now aware they're the roots of my issues, but I can't do anything about them.

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  • Maya05
    11 years ago

    I think I understand what you are getting at. I'm not really sure how to describe it in words but I think I feel similar feelings. I often find myself wanting to be sad. Not like crying and wanting to kill myself sad, but just sad feeling. It feels addictive for some reason

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  • prof.oak
    11 years ago

    I'm sorry to hear that, I can't imagine what it feels like. Well, my sister is younger than me, so that would be incredibly unlikely. As to any other trauma, or someone else doing something like that to me, I have no recollection. I often spend time thinking about my past and my thoughts as a child. I want to understand how my cognition has changed overtime without me noticing. I've been very happy most of my life, other than a depression in middle school from being bullied (verbally).

    I am going to take your advice -to be safe- and focus more on my childhood

    But I am curious, how does my situation remind you of your own? What did you experience when you "remembered"?

    Also I don't know if what I'm experiencing is emotional intelligence or not, I could just mean I'm crazy ^_^
    -or maybe everyone else is crazy.....O.O
    who said that!?
    shut up!
    what?

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