Is it normal to e-mail a guy six times a day when you have a crush?!

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5 Comments

Honestly, I think I have become an utter nut job! This isn't the first time I have had e-mailing get a little bit out of control. I have told myself -- It's just how I am, I have a lot to say, and anyway, for more than 10 years I earned my living as a journalist, now that I don't anymore, this is just how I am. It's horrible! I wish they had a 12 Step Program for Compulsive e-mailing. I liked this guy several hours away. He sort of liked me. We got to communicating over e-mail. Then I just COULDN'T STOP! I mean, I knew he wouldn't be able to read all of my fascinating commentaries until he got home from work and stuff. It isn't like I had ANY EXPECTATION that he could possibly keep up. But I couldn't stop writing to him. Partly, I think it was because I felt listened to. He was cool and he "got" me. I suppose I am a bit lonely for somebody like that in my life -- someone who gets me on that level. But I have TONS of great friends and could schedule coffee or tea dates several times a week with them. Does anybody else out there do this and how have you dealt with it? I mean, I don't want to say that I am never going to coorespond with someone from another state who I have a little crush on. But maybe that's the boundary I need to set. Feedback welcome!

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23% Normal
Based on 65 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • nocharge
    13 years ago

    Everybody likes to connect with others and talking is the main way we do that. Still, there's a line many people cross and that's when you're talking AT people instead of WITH them. Then people try to avoid you. You may have crossed that line. If you're doing that in e-mail, you may also be doing it in conversation. Try to be more aware of how you communicate with others. You might need to develop your listening skills or get used to being quiet sometimes. Ask a few close friends if you have a problem with talking too much, or simply observe how you talk and how much. You could even make that one of your e-mails to this guy, tell him that you think you have a problem and use that to start a two-way conversation.

    Instead of e-mailing what's on your mind right now, write it down. Edit them and limit yourself to two e-mails a day. This will help you become self-aware.

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  • alv1592
    13 years ago

    no offense but..messaging someone THAT much can get annoying. when i like a guy, i try to talk to him as much as i can, but i also try to give him some space. i want to keep getting closer but i don't want to seem desperate or annoying. so yeah, wait for him to reply back, and don't message again until he does.

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  • JadedImage
    13 years ago

    Don't do that. You'll scare him away, or anyone for that matter. Give him time to reply, then write him only one email at a time.

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  • chaosdragoon1
    14 years ago

    You'll push him away at that rate. If he even still responds he may know and be waiting for you to make the move to prove you aren't scared.

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  • mel_is_ahhh
    14 years ago

    NNNOOOOOOO!!!! STOP IT NOW! You already made it seem like you're waaaaay too desparate and probably creeped him out. STOP IT, IT'S NOT HEALTHY!!!!

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