Is it normal to do these things and have these thoughts

10 Comments

okay so, im 18 and a trans man (ftm) and for awhile now, i have had these thoughts about my father/father figure, its a complicated story, the dude raised me til i was three but isnt my biological father, and he's always tried to stay in touch with me but never did a good job because my mother is an alcholic so he stayed his distance until i was 14 then he started to appear in my life again and i stayed with him when i came back up from where i live, and now im living with him and his recently (1 year) wife, and when i was sleeping one time, i woke up and he had a boner, because he was having a nsfw dream, and we were sharing the bed cause it was at a hotel (picking his brother up from rehab) and i felt it on my ass and didnt do anything, so then the next time this happened, we were on the couch and i was snuggling against him because i have no shame in saying im a cuddley dude, and ii accidently dropped my hand while i was almost asleep and it was on his crotch area of his pants and i thought it'd be to awkward to move it so i left it there and he popped a boner again so i decided to ya know since i never touched a real dick and i only have had sex with trans men or woman, i started to rub his crotch etc and he didnt stop me from it, and this kindve thing happened 6 other times, and i get really salty when his wife tries to cuddle on him and stuff and i always have since ive been back in his life, but its gotten worse and i actually have the desire to suck his dick, also during the 6 other times he has been awake and invovled while he thinks im sleeping because i let him think that so i can like 'make a move' or whatever, but he has in one of the times gotten over me and like grinded against my ass and frontal area, while he thought i was asleep and i let him believe i was because i thought it was really hot, i also found his history on his computer and he has searched up sleeping on the porn webstie xnxx, so just wondering what people think about it lmao, also this isnt incest because he isnt my dad, or adoptive dad or anything, he's just known me since i was born and junk

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Comments ( 10 )
  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    I'm not gonna lie, I totally have a boner after reading this. (I'm a trans woman if it makes that admission less creepy? I wouldn't usually share something like that on here.) Even if he was your father, incest fantasies are pretty common. As long as the actual sex is consensual and everyone is of age, I don't see anything wrong with it. Guys have sex sometimes when women aren't around. I know a lot of guys don't want anyone to know that happens, but I've been taking part in it for most of my life and for the most part, it's literally just sex. It's just a thing that happens.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I just I wasnt sure because I just get really turned on thinking about everything that's happened and everything I /want/ to happen, I know i should feel bad for it because hes married but at the same time i really dont care at all that he is, because he is... i forgot the word but doing the stuff back so obviously he doesnt really care for her that much that he wouldnt do anything, you know?? ( i probably sound like such a douche bag lmao)

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      • [Old Memory]
        6 years ago

        I think it's a myth that men who have sex with other men sometimes don't care about their wives. Like I said, it just happens sometimes and it tends to just be sex. I think it's just one of those things men don't talk about because they don't want women to know because of course, most women don't understand it. It's one of those things where biology and reality don't always meet up with social convention.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          update, i told him that i have been awake and stuff during all of it and when he comes home tomorrow, were gonna talk about it lmao

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          With the context that has happened that i didnt explain, im pretty positive that its the way i said haha, during one of the times he mumbled i cant even have sex im too gay, and then after said he was glad i didnt sleep naked cause he's too weak to not do anything lmao

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  • Zonfire80
    5 years ago

    Gay

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  • snoopmoth
    6 years ago

    This is dysfunctional and won't end well for either of you. There is so much wrong.. the age gap, the parental role.. I'm not trying to blame you. If he isn't stopping you from doing that stuff it's really messed up. I want you to not do anything that will hurt you. You should probably tell someone.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      what do you mean stopping me? and why do you think it'll hurt me? im legit curious?

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      • snoopmoth
        6 years ago

        It's not normal for him in that position to encourage or engage sexual behavior in any way. The reason I think it will hurt you is because people who have things like this happen generally experience trauma due to it. I don't know your exact situation but it sounds bad.

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        • [Old Memory]
          6 years ago

          If this started when OP was a kid, I would agree with you, but this starting when they're an adult with someone who may have a history but wasn't a primary parental figure for most of their life. Trauma isn't a black and white issue, it's very much about context. Yes, OP is in a position to potentially experience some hurt feelings and personal upheaval, but I wouldn't say it's necessarily a harmful situation.

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