Is it normal to dislike your mother when you're a young adult?

I'm 25 years old and I feel guilty about not liking my mom.

I feel bad because I often attribute her example as the source of many of my negative personality traits (elitist, procrastinator, laziness, lack of passion, distrust, self-loathing etc.).

I was never abused or neglected physically. She and my father helped pay for some of my undergrad and currently help pay my living expenses while I am in grad school. I'm grateful for that contribution, but at the same time, while I have ambition and an interest in continuing my studies, I keep having these epiphanies about my relationship with my parents and how unfulfilling it has become. My dad has always been lost in his own world and rarely says anything negative about me or my brother. It's not his style. He's too busy absorbed in his own interests.

My mother is a different story. While she is the parent with the college education and the professional job in a hospital, she is the one most likely to, frankly, shit on my parade.

When she's happy, she is full of compliments and assurances that I can "achieve my dreams." When she's depressed, which is more often than not, she is hypercritical and abusive with her language. She frequently alludes to my Master's degree being a waste of my time and belittles my choices if my education timeframe doesn't meet HER expectations. I don't see her often in person but she has the nerve to tell me that I'm "sitting on my ass doing nothing" if I share with her the progress of my thesis project.

My biggest concern and fear: I think that I'm ambitious and passionate about veterinary medicine. I'm applying now and, accordingly to my advisors, I have a good shot of acceptance my first cycle. Every time I talk to her, my vision for my future just becomes depressing and bleak. I DON'T WANT TO BE MY MOTHER ONE DAY! I worry about whether or not I can achieve what I want for myself, to be happy, when she is my role model. How can I ever be a competent doctor when my mother's criticisms fill me with such crushing self-doubt?

This woman has toiled in the same job for over 30 years. She admittedly hates her job though she believes herself competent at it. She is underpaid and passion-less. She has no hobbies, no interests, and very few friends. She complains about her life frequently and does nothing to improve it. From an early age, I found her weak. I still do. I resent the hold she has over me. For all of these reasons I dislike her.

A few months ago, during a fight, I shared with her in anger a thought that in a very odd and disturbing way soothes me - sometimes all I want to do is run away and never see her or my family again. Wash my hands of them all, her especially. This might be a common thought for someone half my age, but at 25, it's a little scary that such a thought would calm me.

The worst part is, she never feels as though she has done or said anything wrong or cruel. So she'll cry if I share this information and state that she doesn't understand how I cold feel that way. To her, I would surely just sound ungrateful.

(... and these are only a few things. My looks, weight, non-existent dating life are also areas of her criticism.)