Is it normal to dislike being an aunt?

39% Normal
19 Comments

When I was eleven, I found out that my sister was pregnant. The timing was horrible - the father was her boyfriend of six months, and she was still finishing up college. Plus, I was an insecure preteen who felt that she was much too young to become an aunt.

Over seven years later, I still dislike my role in her life. While my niece is a good kid, I resent her at times much as a preschooler would have feelings of rivalry with their newborn sibling. Plus, in middle school, my few classmates with nieces or nephews weren't the sort of students I wanted to be around. To this very day, I feel like the twelve years between us should be more like eighteen or more. More and more of my old classmates are becoming aunts and uncles, and honestly, I just don't understand what's so great about it.

Voting Results
39% Normal
Based on 57 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • BlueJeansWhiteShirt
    10 years ago

    You became an auntie at a very young age, at 11. I'm guessing before your sister got pregnant, because you were still a young girl, your family gave you a lot of love, attention and nurture. And then when your sister announces she is pregnant and when your niece had been born, a lot of that attention was taken from you and given to your niece instead. A family changes every time a new member arrives. It's an exciting time and the new member receives a LOT of love and attention. But that doesn't mean your family changed the way they feel about you, they just had to divide their time up more to accommodate a new member.
    I became a big sister at 11 years old which threw me off the line. Suddenly, I wasn't centre of attention anymore. But as I matured, I fell in love with my brother and pretty much became his second mother. I would give up my life for him.
    I am guessing some years have passed and you have matured? Have you got any clue why you may feel this way? Have you bonded with her at all? Have you spent one on one time with her and helped with her when she was a baby? She's a family member. She's your blood and nothing can change that. She should be special to you. It's never too late.

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    • ifonlyuknew247
      10 years ago

      Bravo.

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  • kelili
    10 years ago

    I became an aunt at the thirteen and I really love my nephew. In my opinion becoming parent is a big responsibility but becoming aunt carries no responsibility. Seriously! You're talking about it as if you were to raise the child. I don't understand.

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    • BlueJeansWhiteShirt
      10 years ago

      I agree. I became an aunt at fifteen and loved it, because being an auntie or uncle means you can experience all the good parts of having a baby. When you have had enough, you can always give them back to the parents :) Don't get me wrong, I have had to deal with my fair share of tantrums but nothing compared to what my sister has had to deal with being his mother.

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    • lookinforanewplace
      10 years ago

      Family is usually just bullshit anyway. Always some trash to put up with.

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    • LionEddie
      10 years ago

      Actually, that's part of the reason I dislike the role. Being an aunt or an uncle is entirely what you make of it, but becoming a mother or a father has that aspect of obligation and responsibility.

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  • KingRabbit
    10 years ago

    It isn't about you. Your insecurities play no role in what your siblings do with their life. Plenty of people become aunts at a young age. It means little. Thats life and family growth. Instead of growing from the experience you have decided to stay stuck in your eleven year old self. Your role is what you make of it and you decided it was bad. Change it or stay miserabl, your choice.

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    • LionEddie
      10 years ago

      I think part of my resentment has to do with my lack of a bond with my sister - she's 11 years older, and whenever we speak, she always teases me. That, and I somehow deemed becoming an aunt before middle school "embarrassing" and "trashy". It's also worth mentioning that before my niece was born, I didn't know many of my aunts or uncles. The only one I knew was an aunt in her fifties. Granted, I was my aunt's youngest niece, but that set my expectations of the role.

      If this "isn't about me", then how am I supposed to grow from the experience? Arguably, it *isn't at all* about me; it was my sister's decision to have her.

      And I'm not miserable, either. Apathetic is a better word.

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      • ifonlyuknew247
        10 years ago

        I am the same amount away from my sister as you are from yours. I became an aunt and I was just starting high school. I thought it was cool that there was a baby in the family that didn't have to be "my" younger sibling and I could still stay "the" baby, lol. Years later, I continue to enjoy my role as the "cool" aunt, and it makes me act more mature and more responsible as well. It's made me a better, more caring person overall as well. I hope you have as much enjoyment as your young relatives look up to you and your bond with them grows. Maybe they can act as a bridge to be closer to your sister and get to know your family better. Or maybe they can have part of your sister in them that you can enjoy because it's in a different person.

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  • Caryopteris
    10 years ago

    My sister got pregnant in college and married the guy and had the baby. I really feel she trapped the guy. She is baby crazy. Now she is a grandmother and she loves it, but that part of the family is so into babies it seems strange to me. I don't enjoy what they enjoy at all. Families can be strange.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    The thing i hate about being an uncle is that i am more lenient to my nephews and nieces than i am to my own son.

    My son can see this and i fear he probably hates me.

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    • charli.m
      10 years ago

      Nah, I'm sure he knows he has the most awesomest dad :)

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      • Terence_the_viking
        10 years ago

        Sometimes i feel too harsh.

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        • charli.m
          10 years ago

          Have to be, sometimes. Otherwise you'd be a shit dad.

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          • Terence_the_viking
            10 years ago

            :)

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  • Gamzeee
    10 years ago

    I wouldn't like it because even thought they it isn't your kid you still have a role in the kids life and you didn't get to choose that but if you just ignore the kid or whatever you are the one to blame. It's kind of like finding out you are going to have a sibling. Hate it.

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  • squirrelgirl
    10 years ago

    I'm almost 23 and I have 6 nieces and nephews between my two sisters, with another nephew on the way.

    That being said, I'm not good with kids. At all. I feel little attachment to my nieces and nephews. I don't know how to talk to them or interact with them on their level. Whenever I do make an attempt to interact with them, they brush me off or ignore me completely. In some ways I feel hurt that they prefer my other family members to me and there's a part of me that wishes I could be close with them and be a better auntie to them. But I am completely clueless as to how I should improve my relationship with them. :/

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  • InNeedOfAdvice
    10 years ago

    Being an aunt/uncle allows you to be the childs friend/guider but it doesn't put any real responsibility on you. Maybe when you are in your 20's you'll enjoy it more.

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  • Isabella80s
    10 years ago

    It's understandable and normal, I'm sure. From the other side of the fence, I will never be an auntie as I don't have any siblings. And I'm disappointed about that. Not trying to put pressure on saying you should be more grateful or anything, but it's good to value what we have and remember that there are many people who would like to have what we have. I think becoming an auntie at 11 is very young and it would have changed the family dynamic to some degree. This may have been hard to adjust to when you were 11. I suddenly had two cousins born when I was 11 and 12 and I was a bit freaked out about how to deal with it in some ways. 10-14 ish is a very sensitive age and adjusting to big changes at that age can have a big impact, but it doesn't necessarily have to be a negative one.

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