Is it normal to dislike an old friend so much?

This girl and I have been friends on and off for 8 years. She's a bit.... brash, and extroverted, whereas I'm quiet and reserved. Despite that, we had quite a bit in common and enjoyed hanging out.

However, my friend was the kind of girl who would get a boyfriend and ignore me and everyone else for the length of the relationship. I got used to her disappearing and always welcomed her back, patiently listened to her complain about her ex.

Well... one day, a relative of mine died, and I was upset. I tried talking to my friend about it, and she basically said "who cares that he died?" and "I thought you hated him anyway?" -- dismissing my feelings and projecting her own dislike for her family onto me.

I finally went off on her... She even dragged a close friend of MINE, that she was trying to sleep with, into our argument, which only got worse.

That was well over a year ago. Recently I've tried reconnecting with her and was rebuffed. I also tried writing an apology for her, admitting my own fault in the argument. She's ignored me and I've found out that she's been talking to my friend again, and that she's "just not ready to forgive" me.

The thing is.... I've apologized to her. She has yet to apologize for anything she's said to me. Before, I thought I wanted to make up with her, but now that I know she can't forgive me for whatever it was that I said.... I find that every time I see her, or hear about her, I'm just filled with this overwhelming dislike and irritation. It almost makes me feel sick, and it certainly makes me feel guilty. Is this normal?