Is it normal to dislike a family member?

I hate my Aunty and Uncle .. they suck except my whole family cut 'em off so I don't have to deal with the suckerrs :P you are totally normal, reasonable and respectable :P

i REALLY do NOT like my sister so i would say it would be normal PLUS she punched me in the face! <:'(

My brother is an HIV+ drug addict, a thirtysomething boy who used my mother for all she was worth until she passed away and ever since 9/11 has been calling himself a Muslim. He is an alcoholic and has been in the distorted frame of mind of a theft and abuse since his teen years.

He's my brother.

But after our mother passed away...

I ceased all communication.

Some people you just can't have in your life.

NORMAL!

If you feel fucked off, then that's your option, if other people in your family are accepting him then that's their option. They sound like cunts.

Of course it's normal. Yes he's your uncle but that doesn't blur the line between what you believe to be right and wrong. He committed a crime that probably caused his victim and their family a lot of pain and that is very difficult to forgive, even if you want to.

Your position is understandable. But you must admit that there is something to admire about your family in that they have not turned their backs or spurned your uncle for having made a mistake and paid his debt to society.

dude i wouldn't want anythign to do with him either if he was my uncle!

OP: I think the important distinction here is one between "normal" and "common" - just because people react a certain way may be common, but that doesn't mean it's healthy, sensible or safe. Frankly, I'd feel exactly the same if I were in your shoes.

It's not unusual for relatives and other close people to act like nothing is wrong in this kind of situation, but that speaks volumes about their character and sense of moral conviction - and sometimes it might be to do with something you don't even know about. But by and large, when people react with denial, it's because they don't want to accept the enormity of what they're faced with. Let's face it: having your own brother convicted of a sex crime is pretty huge.

Without knowing what happened/what the conviction was for, I have to make certain assumptions. Based on your anger, I feel it's fair to say that he wasn't simply charged with streaking down the street or committing statutory rape when he was 18 and she was 16 or something. Your emotion seems to suggest that he did something pretty terrible. Assuming that is true, I have to guess that your dad and other uncle are morally weak, or that there's some other reason for them maintaining contact. Sadly in many cases, it's the former. What would concern me more is whether his conviction was for an offence against a minor, and whether these other adults in your family still allow him contact with minors.

But frankly, I think your anger is more than justified. If my brother were ever convicted of a sex crime, I'd be horrified, and I'd definitely follow the trial right through to see what evidence there was in the hope that he was innocent. Almost no one would WANT to hear that their own brother was a sex offender. But if the reality was right before me that that's what he was, then I'd deal with it and not have him around other potential victims. I do not consider my family to be a rapist's buffet. Screw that (as it were).

Good for you, OP, for having more moral fortitude than others in your life.

i'll bet you aren't the only one in the family that feels that way, maybe no one is talking about it. what do your sibs and cousins think?

anyway, you have a right to your feelings, and you are normal.

Yes and no. It is normal to have such abhorrent feelings because of the mans crimes, however he is still a son and brother to your other family members. It is probably easier for them to dislike what happened and try to help your uncle to not repeat those mistakes.

I can tell you from first hand experience the way families react. My father is a sex offender, against me of all people and I've seen the reactions of my family, and my father is still serving his sentence. I feel that sex crimes elicit such strong responses in people that they don't know how to process it when it hits so close to home. I had one uncle who couldn't talk to me like a normal teenager when I lived in his home, but instead treated me like a servant in his home, because I sent his brother to jail. Nevermind the abuses his brother committed against me.

I nor anyone else could ever tell you how to feel about this. All I can say is to be as supportive of his reform as you can, and if you are one of those people who believe a sex offender can never change, just watch out for signs to protect people from possible harm.

I have fears of such reactions in my extended family when my dad gets out. And all I can say is take it day by day and be respectful of the fact that he will always be family no matter what he does to your dad.