Is it normal to develop an irrational fear of disease and death

71% Normal
10 Comments

I've always been afraid of death and contracting deadly disease, but not any more than the next person. However, something strange has happened over the last few months...
Just in case it's of any significance to my problem, I thought I'd mention that I'm a 21 year old female. Anyways, about 3 months ago, I slept with somebody unattractive and it was unprotected (I wasn't in my right mind but yes I know, very irresponsible). For some reason, unknown even to myself, I seemed to conjure up the frightening idea in my head that he was HIV positive. I haven't had an STI test since or been near another guy, out of fear. I looked up the early symptoms of HIV but I didn't experience them. However, ever since this thought entered my head, it seems as though so much of what I read or watch on TV mentions HIV or AIDs, and I've been convinced that these seemingly frequent mentions are signs that I have the virus myself. It really frightens me and I think about it everyday. I'm going to make an appointment to get tested for STIs soon but I'm so worried.
Since this worry has arose, I have been experiencing mild headaches, usually at night. This worries me because I have always been one of those lucky people who very seldom suffers from headaches. I just think, what could be bringing them on...tumours? I have a feeling that if I asked my doctor to look into it, he'd laugh in my face. But I know tumours go undetected all the time.
Aside from that, I've also been experiencing mild chest pains on the left side, which makes me worry myself crazy that I have a heart condition or something. This ache, too, seems to appear mostly at night.
Now I go about my day worrying that I'm picking up germs (this worry is not constant, comes and goes usually) and spend my nights worrying that I'll die in my sleep (if I don't have a heart-attack before I drift off that is...)to the point where I'm afraid to sleep in case I don't wake up again. It's devastating for me - I used to love bedtime and looked forward to my dreams.
What is happening to me? A few months these troubles have been plaguing me - what has brought them on? How have I managed to turn into a hypocondriach (sp?)?
Worryingly, my brother went through something similar, and my family, including myself, just could not understand how someone can go about their life stressing so much about illnesses they most likely don't have. After a while, he went through a psychotic episode, which was horrible for everyone. He's better now, though still on meds but I sometimes wonder if I'm heading the same way.
Any advice or help appreciated, my dear fellow weirdos :)

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71% Normal
Based on 52 votes (37 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    It's normal to be scared of disease and dying, but we all eventually die. Your thoughts are powerful, but also stifling. Get tested if it makes you feel better. Use protection next time. There's also going to be a risk of catching something whether it be from sex or taking a subway. You prolong your assumptions longer by not getting tested.

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  • karma_is_bs
    12 years ago

    Well I hope you've been tested since you posted this and found out that everything's ok :) I used to get paranoid alot when I was younger (i'm 27 now) and I would get panic attacks. I also agree 100% with Valkeer, that your single thought started all this. Our mind is a very powerful thing. I don't think you need meds for anxiety, you just need to control your thoughts. Panic attacks can actually have the same symptoms as a heart attack so the best thing to do is try to quit stressing so much. And HIV is actually a very hard virus to contract. You actually have to have really rough sex that makes you bleed to contract it. That's why it's more common in homosexual males because they have anal sex which almost always results in bleeding. Sorry I was so vulgar, but I wanted to help put your mind at ease. I would definitely quit drinking if it's making you sleep with guys unprotected...especially ugly ones. Hope this helped

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  • CompletelyLOST
    13 years ago

    DO NOT use blood donation as a free HIV test. That was a very irresponsible suggestion countryroads.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    13 years ago

    Thanks to you all for your advice help, except you MaskedGunman. It's irrational because I fear these things so much and for no good reason. I'm getting defensive because this is a real problem for me and you ain't helping, man! Anyways, what the hell does TL;DR mean? All this net speech....sheesh!
    I feel a little better knowing that I'm not alone. I know it's strange but it's a comfort for me when it's the middle of the night and I'm keeping awake out of fear, that there's, more than likely, somebody else not sleeping for the same reason as me lol. I'm trying to work through this and I've made an appointment with doctor for tests.

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    • [Old Memory]
      13 years ago

      TL;DR means I'm getting over a stomach bug, I've just had a six pack of Bass Ale, and I'm in no mood to read more than a sentence at a time.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    TL;DR

    But seriously, fear of diseased and death is not irrational. Either could very likely happen to you.

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  • Lia
    13 years ago

    I'm like this too - it's because of all the media and awareness of diseases we become paranoid that we might get it. For example, i'm an 18 year old girl and I keep going through phases where I'm paranoid that a freckle I have is actually skin cancer (i have fair skin) due to how much they warn us about it on tv, etc. and like you, I'm too paranoid to get checked out in case it really is cancer XD
    Your anxiety of being sick is what is making you feel sick - it's causing you to have headaches and chest pains. I used to have an anxiety that whenever I'd go out I'd feel nauseous. this in turn would MAKE me feel nauseous and so I'd cancel on my friends and stay home.

    I guess you really gotta tell yourself that you're overreacting - you dont have symptoms of HIV so you do NOT have HIV. You do not have any tumours; especially at your age it's a very rare thing. You certainly will not have a heart attack. I know it's hard to be rational with yourself because you KNOW this and yet the paranoia is still there.
    If getting tests done will help you get over it, do that. But otherwise try and distract yourself with other thoughts and activities - eventually you'll calm down and won't be bothered to worry.
    Good luck!

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  • CountryRoads
    13 years ago

    Or just a clean HIV test will put your mind at ease. Go donate blood and theyll tell you for free.

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  • americanhoney
    13 years ago

    Darling...you need to see your doctor. A simple PRN antianxiety medication will work wonders, especially at night.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    You have to understand how powerful our thoughts are. For you this whole ordeal was triggered by, "Omg I have HIV" and since then that single thought has blossomed into a hideous phobia.

    If you came into this with a single thought then it's there that you'll find your way out. Control what your mind thinks on. Direct it.

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