Is it normal to date someone you are not attracted to.

People say its shallow to date someone for their looks, but how do you date someone you are not attracted to. I love my best friend's personality. Am I in love? No. Does he love me? Yes. He wants to date but I am completely unattracted to him physically. What do I do?

Voting Results
40% Normal
Based on 30 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Anime8

    As someone who's been in your friend's shoes let me give you my two cents. DO NOT ACCEPT A DATE WITH HIM. If you don't like him, then tell him. Don't give him any shred of hope that he has a chance with you. Tell him that you don't see him that way but would love to be friends. I'm not going to say that if he's your friend he'll understand because to be honest getting rejected sucks. It takes time to get over someone. Maybe he will understand, but that doesn't change the fact that it will be hard for him to be around you. Keep in mind though that in this scenario you are not the villain, it's alright to not be attracted to someone. You are under no obligation to like anyone. This isn't an easy thing to do, unless you lack a heart, but unless you want to hurt him more you'd just tell him you're not interested.

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  • Blue_Velvet

    If you're not attracted to him then you shouldn't date him. You're just wasting your time.

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  • wistfulmaiden

    Well do you find him attractive on some level? Ive know not good looking guys who are so funny/kind/quirky that they become cute in their own way. Unless you find him repulsive on most levels. Having kids with him is another issue but just to date, why not?

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  • Blu-and-Jewel

    Dating never starts as love. It typically starts as infatuation. I'm willing to bet you do love him though, in the platonic sense.

    Regardless, to get to the nub of this, I'd say it is a semi-normal thing in our society. I've met some whom go with the "everyone deserves a chance" philosophy and some that just use their eyes and say that you need to put some effort into looking nice (dressing well, being fit, etc. To put it briefly, this issue has too much grey area to even give a normal/not normal label. I'll vote normal simply because I've met enough women who use the former philosophy to justify this as normal.

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    • EccentricWeird

      Thass soooo tru u go man!!1111

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  • thegypsysailor

    When did a date become a commitment for sex or a life long relationship? Is it totally impossible to go out with somebody and have an enjoyable time because a guy doesn't look like some fucking pretty boy actor or an anime character? Most of you end up quickly divorced from that "perfect" man who can't even make the child support payments, struggling to get by with 3 kids.
    Girls like you disgust me.

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  • PieGoblin^^

    I agree with gypsysailor. What the fuck makes you so special that you refuse to date anyone who's looks don't match up to your unrealistically perfect standards? Who the fuck ever declaired you a 10 anyway? You're probably young and naïve and have yet to even discover what relationships are, let alone how you make one work. Dating for looks IS shallow, and you are shallow.

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  • Fall_leaves

    So I don't think you should date him if you're not attracted to him? Just tell him you don't see him that way and that you would like to remain friends. Don't lead him on by dating him.

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  • RoseIsabella

    You can always tell him that you think of him as a brother and do in fact love him as such. He is your best friend after all. If he's a true friend he should understand.

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