Is it normal to date a 35 year old if your 14

thats illegal hes a pedophile and shes just plain dumb

Okay... There are several issues here, so one thing at a time.

Firstly, there's nothing wrong with age differences in relationships per se. What matters is the ages of the individuals involved, not the age gap itself. In this case, there's a big problem.

She's 14. He's 35. As if that weren't enough of a concern, the guy's a TEACHER! Time to inform the relevant adults - parent/s, police, school principal (where the teacher works).

Why? Aside from the obvious issues of the law and the age of consent, this guy is a teacher. So, two things:

1. Is he a teacher at HER school? If so, he's committed a HUGE breach of trust (not to mention law and ethics).

2. Regardless of whether or not he's her teacher, he IS a teacher - how many other minors has he had "relationships" with?

Next, her age. Age of consent aside, at 14, humans are not mature. Their bodies still have years of development left, and the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control is far from developed. It does not mature until early- to mid-twenties at soonest. This is just biology - it doesn't mean your friend is any more or less mature than her age peers; only that she simply hasn't finished growing and is not an adult, yet, even if she's experiencing adult-like feelings.

Of more concern is the fact that very often our first sexual encounter can colour our attitude towards sex in future. Being used and taken advantage of is never good, but it's even worse if it's her first time. You said you didn't know if they've become intimate or not, yet, but if it hasn't happened yet, it will. What could a 35-year-old man be getting out of a relationship with a 14-year-old girl? It sure as hell isn't emotional support. No matter how intelligent a 14-year-old she is, there is a HUGE maturity difference between their ages - or at least, there should be. And if there isn't, all the more reason she needs to get away from him now.

I can just about guarantee you that this isn't the first time this teacher has done this. Such people are typically predators. Tell me: Is this relationship public knowledge? Is he open about it? Do her parents know? And boy do I hope he's not already married.

Other concerns include the obvious, like pregnancy. If she gets knocked up, is he going to help this child raise a child? Or put her through the trauma of an abortion, or giving the baby up for adoption? None of these options are desirable. Oh, and what about STDs?

There are just so many things wrong with this picture. She needs to get out of this situation ASAP, and he needs to be reported ASAP. And if by some remote chance it turns out to be "true love" he will willingly do what's best for her and stay away from her until she's 18. That's what true love does: it seeks the highest good for the beloved - clearly NOT what he's doing now.

That man Is a sick creeper & if i were you I would;

A. Report him

B. Stay away from him

no it's not normal...BECAUSE IT'S FUCKIN ILLEGAL!!!! call the cops you dope!!! he's a pedofile!!! a child molester!!! you really needed to ask this question on a website??? where is your common sense??? omg i can not believe the stupidity of people today!!!

you know it isnt normal, you know it's illegal. unless you are retarded. stop wasting our time and tell the police instead.

ew. for one, he's old enough to be her dad, two, it's illegal.

eeeew... sounds like a pedo to me @___@

Ewww.... That man Is evil and if you don't do something about it you are evil too!

Report that pedaphile to the police.

These a quite a few interesting reactions. I wonder how perception would change if the older lover where female and younger one male? I would be a bit of a different story I'd bet. Society seems to have the idea that sexual encounters don't "hurt" boys and as much girls. FYI- I am 29 and my b\f is 19. We have been together since he was 15. The experience does not seemed to have harmed him in the slightest. We have been living together for the past year. I don't think my situation is a common one because my boyfriend is quite mature for his age or I would have never been attracted and I do find most guys his age quite annoying. Rape is never permissible but statutory rape is ridiculous and should not exist. If two people consent to sexual activity then that should be the end of it. And you can all stop calling this guy a pedophile. A pedophile is a person that is sexually attracted to children that have not reached puberty. I am sure this young lady has developed secondary sexual characteristics

And btw they have said they love eachother and all that idk if it has gotten sexual or not

wen a young girl dating a man far older than her is very diff to stop bcos d men dick r fully mature n d girls cunt r tight. both of them r gaining not blame d man. she want to be fucked!!

It's not normal. It should be reported. Call the police. This man is sick.

This Person, whom is naturally considered as a role model and a leader in his workplace and his community should know better. I would be concerned that he is a mature adult having a romantic relationship with a minor that isnt old enough to have a license of any kind.

Ill admit, if the genders were switched, i probably wouldnt even think twice about it. And if this was happening in the east, it Might be considered as "acceptable". To be fair...

Someone should talk to this young woman about, responsibility. If they are actually both in love - there needs to be serious involvement with whomever is responsible for her welfare as a minor in the eyes of the law.

And if this teacher is "truly" in love, he would resign his position at his school, maybe even not teach at all - or at least teach in a fucking university where he wont be considered a fucking pervert.

With all that said... Im just going to stuff myself with food until i can fall into a food coma. Cheers...

This is as normal as someone who eats poop, which is really abnormal.

Pedo !

That's not normal.. for a teenager and an adult to date or be girlfriend and boyfriend. It's okay if you two are both adults and have age gaps 1-10 years, that's okay. But anything beyond that is kind of weird ;\ I assume a lot of people on this site is over 18+, that's why I only view them as adults.. probably friends, but they're like my mom or dad. My mom's 39, and my dad's around 35. So you're all my stepmoms and stepdads!! Ahahaha, no, just kidding. I could view it like that though. :P

Even if the student was 18 and the teacher 35 the teacher is there to teacher, Not look at his or her students as part of their Dating Pool. This can cause lifelong issues that shouldnt even be on the table. Dont Do It.........

I just.. can't..
Just no. No.
It's illegal and immoral.

Do you live in a country where she's considered of age? I ask because I'm surprised that most people think it's "cute" and haven't reported this matter to the authorities. Even if she was of age, the fact that he's "35" just isn't right. The ages are too far apart. This is very creepy.

thats disgusting, hes old enough to be her dad

Not legal for a reason.. The guy like fresh meat n when she grows up he is going to target another girl... So wake the fuk up n say something about it to someone!!!

Ummm CREEPY as hell

That is definitely NOT normal. Not only is it weird, it's illegal. Age differences aren't a big deal but when one is a young teen and the other is a middle aged guy? Yeah, that's not right.

Ummmm thatz orrery weird!

This is legal?

Ragefultuna: If they really are/were dating, it's time to get appropriate adults involved, not only for the girl's sake, but for the sake of every other minor he may have harmed, or will harm in future. Kiddy diddlers just don't stop at one victim.

@mproc: No, he shouldn't be dating someone who:
1. Is a minor, and
2. Is a student where he teaches.
The age difference is irrelevant. It's the fact that she is a minor and he is in a position of authority and trust over her that is the problem.

Report the guy he shouldn't be dating someone that could be his kid

the teacher can get arrested for rape. ITS ILLEGAL! someone should be told in my opinon. its just not normal.sorry

There's a great quote at the beginning of the movie Boondock Saints that describes the indifference of good men (women included). This is a very dangerous situation. I conducted a research project in college on this very subject and the potential damaging effects this young lady could incur cannot even be described they are so terrible. It definitely needs to be brought to the attention of someone with authority.

On a separate note, while it is scary and perverted and wrong and nauseating to think about, pedophilia is largely a mental disorder. Persons with ADHD have mental disorders, but we don't say they should be shot, right? If this situation is what it seems to be - that he is preying on her - then it needs to be reported, she may need couseling, and he DEFINITELY needs to seek counsel like anyone with a mental disorder should do.

They were like honest to god dating there was no misinterpreted feelings (sorry if I spelled that wrong) i'll check out all the details on this

OP: If he really IS fairly open about it, is it possible that your friend has misconstrued his intentions towards her? Or could your friend just be saying that to ease your concerns? This is definitely complicated, to say the least, and I believe that an adult who has your friend's best interests at heart needs to take a look and see what's going on. If your friend has simply misinterpreted the teacher's intentions, then she needs a little help to understand what's actually going on. Crushes are perfectly normal in a teenager, but they're not always reciprocated and this could really hurt her. On the other hand, however, if this teacher IS a predator, she definitely needs another adult to intervene, and fast. The ramifications of sexual abuse are far-reaching and difficult to repair.

You said that the teacher is someone who works with ADHD kids. Is your friend ADHD? It would definitely be interesting to know if this guy is chasing after the most vulnerable of the already-vulnerable. Being a teenager is difficult enough, but being a teenager with a complication such as ADHD? Talk about her being a sitting duck (if she is). If this is the situation, the guy in question needs to be incarcerated.

This is always a difficult matter to dicuse.

aside form all the obviouses...

I think she's being young and stupid. no offence to the girl. I am not sure if I wouldn't say if this is normal or not. In society's point of view, this is a definite big no no, BUT, who are we to say what is and what isn't normal. Especially when it comes to troublesome things like love. Frankly, I think your friend is being stupid, but again, something like this is hard to deal with.

I don't even kmow either of these people one of my friends from a different school told me about it I'd tell if I knew either person at all I just submitted this to see if this was as uncommon and screwed up as I thought it was

Exploiting innocence, sex offender, jail time, and evil are a few thoughts that come to mind. Why, isn't that adorable!!!! You knowing this makes you as guilty and monstrous as him. Evil isn't always a black mask . It is enough people willing to turn their heads and ignore what is going on around them. Think of Hitler

I wish I was that teacher

And I agree with u azira Its not at all normal even if my gf thinks they r "soooo adorable together"

Azira idrk if this is his first time and idk if her parents know but he is fairly open about it and he is not directly her teacher he helps ADHD kids at her school

I think she will have a happy life with him

So don't get between true love

Just sick. This man needs to be shot.

pedophilia..................