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Hey,
I have this thing where I get really mad and stressed out about anything to such a point where I have to cut myself to relieve all the anger built up inside me.
There not deep cuts or across veins, I just like to feel the pain and see the blood.
The blade is always clean and sterile, and I know it's not healthy, but is it normal?
its better than doing drugs or something ,and i cut myself when i get angry too , so i think its normal
I used to do this a few years ago as well. I used a piece of broken glass from a wine glass (which for some weird reason I still have.) Eventually, I realized that cutting really did little to nothing to help me with my issues, so I stopped doing it. But I think a person may need to discover that on his/her own. Just be safe.
I do that as well. I cut to try to get rid of unwanted feelings, and let out anger. It actually seems to work, and I get joy out of hurting people when they see the scars. It's like, they piss me off so I'm gonna hurt them as well. Probably not normal, but just saying I totally know where you're coming from, and I do the same thing :-)
It doesn't matter how clean or sterile the blade is....the poison is within. It's a way of coping and, however unhealthy, probably the only way you know. Might get some help with this one....
Maybe try cutting a little deeper ? It hurts less if you are on heroin also. Maybe give that a try ?
Honestly,
I went through this a couple years ago,
Even though at the moment it seems as though it might help,
It doesnt. Every time you see a cut or scar it makes you think about the things in the past, the bad things. You get attached to the razor or piece of glass or knife and it becomes your only friend, you become isolated. Trust me it will not help, talk to someone close like a friend or family member that you can trust. If no one is there for you maybe i can help?
Good luck("
It's not just that is unhealthy, it's the emotional attachment that's the problem. Cutting yourself as a release for your anger is an unhealthy way to deal with your emotions. It's the same thing as having an eating disorder or abusing drugs to deal with life. You HAVE to learn to deal with your emotions in a different way. Is it normal? Not for everyday people. But it's the emotional problems it's causing you that are more damaging than the physical.