Is it normal to cry over a dying mother that i hate

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4 Comments

I cut my mother off years ago because it was the best thing I could ever do for my emotional wellbeing. The thing’s she has done only a book could hold. So my sister calls me and guilt trips me into visiting her on her death bed. I tried, I got up at 3 AM this morning to make the trip, but I couldn’t do it. So why am I crying? Of all the people in the world she is the last person that would deserve my tears, I watch people die for a living. Their families deserve my tears. Not that self centered evil bitch that lead to the death of two of her kids (my brothers), and the misery that she gave to the other three for the beginning of their lives. Why am I crying? My sisters want to pretend that it’s ok, everything was ok. Even though we have definitely spent our time swapping stories over wine that we remember of trauma she allowed people (her boyfriends) to put us through, and crap she provided us. So why the hell, after all this time am I crying? It makes me feel weak and stupid and still her victim.

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 22 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • rayb12
    7 years ago

    The fact that you can still feel after such atrocities only shows your strength. Your mother has absolutely 0 to do with Your worth. Nothing in a positive or in a negative way.

    I heard recently that forgiveness is important because it is the only way that allows you to fully let go of a person. For that reason alone I thought I should bring that up.

    You sound amazing and I hope you have IRL people there to love and support you.

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  • AntonioMartin
    7 years ago

    Perhaps you are crying for the relationship you wish you had but never had with her.

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  • keru
    7 years ago

    It's natural hun :( Remember what it took her to give birth to you!

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  • Sora_6606
    7 years ago

    Don't worry about it it's your mother. Even if you hate her you still feel guilt . Your lucky I can't feel anything anymore well technically I have only had 1 emotion for so long I don't know anything else but that feeling. I can't cry over the dead. Not even my dead loved ones. And you cry because you feel guilty of not going. Or you know you should forgive her but can't and don't want to.

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