Is it normal to constantly think of other women when i'm engaged?

51% Normal
10 Comments

I've been with my partner for over 5.5 years and we are engaged; yet in the last few months I've been infatuated with two other women. I even have dreams about dating these women sometimes - and I barely even know one of these women, but the way she smiles and waves at me sometimes makes me melt on the inside..

I'd never cheat, but part of me really wants to call off the engagement and probably have a serious think whether I want to be in a relationship with my fiancée. I love her - she completes me - but other women seem to have many qualities she lacks.

I also feel that since we've been engaged, my partners kind of 'got what she wants' and the relationship has changed. We barely ever have sex (1-2 times a month) - it feels like we've become best friends rather than partners. I've got to the stage where I don't even want to have sex with her: I find here uptight, closed minded, stubborn and a bit of a bore, but I can't imagine life without her... Ugh.

Is this normal? Any suggestions?

Voting Results
51% Normal
Based on 65 votes (33 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 10 )
  • Eveyana
    10 years ago

    This may be an unpopular opinion but I think that sometimes, the person who is best for you isn't necessarily the person you lust for or crave to have romance with. It gets to the point where lust always fades and you are left with reality. You both see each other's faults and flaws and the sex goes stale or eventually subsides.

    What you have in the end is someone who knows you for you. They know all your flaws. They put up with you and your shortcomings. They're boring as fuck. You crave something more but at the end of the day, if you ever need to go to the hospital or something happens to you or you need to be looked after, they're the ones who are there for you and stick with you.

    Just food for thought.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • noid
      10 years ago

      This is why I prefer to be single.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
    • desmond1990
      10 years ago

      I think you're right.. lust probably always fades.

      At the same time though, if I'm beginning to resent my fiancée maybe it's not only lust which fades in a relationship?

      Hmm. I'm 23, and I feel like my life is already doomed.

      We went on a date the other night, and we came back around 10 pm and fell straight to sleep..

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Eveyana
        10 years ago

        Only you know what's best for you but sex and lust never last (with any person - man or woman). My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years. I don't feel like having sex with him (ever) and yet the love and trust is there and when either of us need someone to rely on / lean back on, we've got each other's backs.

        I would urge you to strongly reconsider leaving your fiancee in search of lust or romance. Both these things don't last. You will have times when you're bored shitless of your fiancee and times when you just can't stand them anymore. This is when real love happens, not the puppy dog, gone with the wind type romance you see in the movies.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
          -
        • desmond1990
          10 years ago

          Thanks for the advice :)

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          1
          1
  • Monkeybutts
    10 years ago

    I think ur going to break up with her, date these other two chicks and one day many years later u'll wake up and realize she was the one that got away. Ask yourself, is these new girls just lust? If u really don't like ur soon to be wife then by all means break up with her but make sure u r doing it for all the right reasons becuz once its over then its over. You never know what u have until its gone.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    I think you need to talk to her about it.

    But not in a way that will get you into trouble

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    If youre a man its normal to think about other women, period, its just your wiring. However you may not be ready to commit yet. You have to think about it seriously before you get married.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • dirtybirdy
    10 years ago

    I would bail if I were you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • loopoo
    10 years ago

    You don't sound happy. Follow what you really want.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0