Is it normal to constantly sabotage my relationship?

67% Normal
5 Comments

Okay to keep this story short and simple, I've been with my fiancé for a few years now. He's been stationed overseas for a while and while he was there he has been unfaithful to me. We have moved pass that and he's been a great guy. The problem is when things are going great I find some kind of way to sabotage our relationship! Not by cheating or any of that, but things like picking fights or trying to find something wrong. I know it's partially from my insecurity about him being gone, but I feel like I'm afraid to be happy or scared of being hurt. Is this normal?

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 18 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Just sounds like you want the reassurance that he'll come running after you and take the blame if you have an argument in order to prove undying love.

    Personally, if you didn't grow up pretty soon I'd dump you. Who can be bothered spending their free time with someone who is deliberately trying to spoil that time making them unhappy? You are making yourself unhappy too.

    This is just a waste of time. Either dump him and move on or realise what's important and get on with having some fun together. If you get married, you have many years ahead to make his life a misery!

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  • STFU23
    12 years ago

    100% normal..after things happened with my bf that he did behind my back i have never trusted him since :( once they fuck up i guess they loose are trust for good. i also am scared of being happy..hmmm i actually never thought of that. im the exact same as u. i am really really scared of just trusting him and being happy, i always pick little fights over nothing. hmm we need to see someone about this lol

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  • FocoUS
    12 years ago

    I know you said you moved past the unfaithfulness but I never believed anyone could forget something like cheating. Maybe that's what's bothering you.

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  • youmightberight
    12 years ago

    Yeah, but you've got the point. You have a reason not to trust him and to unconciously sabotage your relationship. You should ask yourself if you're going to trust him again or not, because if you're not, it's not going to work out EVER. And your marriage is meant to be a great failure then.
    Peace.

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  • lc1988
    12 years ago

    We're in the same boat. I know exactly what you mean. My man overseas hasn't cheated on me (that I know of) but I still feel insecure. =( I don't know what to do either.

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