Is it normal to cheat on my boyfriend, then abort to hide a pregnancy
I recently had a one night stand. I'd slept with this person once before and liked it a lot! All I kept thinking about was doing it again. Then I met L. I love L a lot, but he pisses me off badly. He says he loves me too but...
I had sex with L, my boyfriend then he went home. He brushed me off when he'd promised to come back the next day. He'd rather smoke weed and hang with his friends. Like a dummy I looked up A and he came over.
I didn't even enjoy it. The moment I saw A, I wondered why I even wanted him over. How cute he was, or good in bed went out the window, and I felt so guilty and numb. I didn't know how to say go home, so we had sex.
I could tell when he came in it was just about sex, so I don't know why I even put myself out there for this guy. I had a moment when he was over that I needed him to stop and he just sped up so he could hurry up and cum, then go home. Why did I do this? He wasn't sexy to me when I saw him, and he smelled so strongly of alcohol that my room stunk of it.
My bf came in me the day before, as well as two days before that. So did A the next day. Based on signs I observed I know I was fertile and likely ovulated right after I was with L. Why didn't I use something with A? No idea...I think I might be pregnant though. And I was just pregnant right before this, and lost it. It was A's baby. What made me do this?
L, my boyfriend is so immature that I worry about having a kid with him. He takes me for granted, has a temper problem, and is a bit of a bully. A has 3 kids, takes care of them, but I know he doesn't care about me, so why have a child with him? What are the odds this is my boyfriends' baby and not the hookups'? I'm no longer infatuated with him at all! Am I wrong to consider an abortion? I've looked up sites on herbal abortion as well. I just don't know what to do.
I'm worried I might be a sex addict or be excited by the "thrill" of doing something like this. I'll tell you what though. I'm not excited right now. And I wish I could take it back. Is it normal to hookup behind my boyfriends back, and then abort a pregnancy that might be with the other guy?