Is it normal to change your mind about having a family after marriage?

85% Normal
26 Comments

I've been married to my wife for 3 months now. Everyday has been perfect, everything I could have hoped or dreamed for. Untill 3 weeks ago. My wife and I have been in a relationship for 4 years now. During this courtship we discussed a few times how we did not want children. Well, my wife says that she has changed her mind and would like to start a family. I am shocked by this for she knows I do not like kids. She also did not like kids! But now she wants to start a family?! Don't get me wrong, she'd be a perfect beautiful mother. I'd accept the loving father role if it just happened. However for us to plan it now? Is this normal? Is this a phase that married couples go through, or is this genuine?

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 40 votes (34 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    It's a natural sign of her deep love and affection for you that she is starting to want to make a little person with you who is half her and half you.

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    • auburnsin
      10 years ago

      That's an amazing response. Thank you, for it moved me.

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      • auburnsin
        10 years ago

        RoseIsabella, I love my wife more because of your response.I am the Luckiest guy in the world. I will Honor and love my wife daily. If she wants to start a family, then we will discuss it further on planning.
        She is so beautiful. =)

        Thank you

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        • RoseIsabella
          10 years ago

          I'm glad to hear it. God bless the both of you!
          :-)

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  • EccentricWeird
    10 years ago

    People in the Western world constantly saying they don't want to have kids is just a phase, an attempt to further prolong adolescence. After a bit of life experience, it is possible for people to grow up. It gives me more hope for the future.

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    • Bitmap
      4 years ago

      Haha oh man I never thought of it that way but I think I agree with you in some cases. I know someone like this but I also have a lovely elderly aunt who never had kids and never regretted it.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Another good reason to never get married.

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    • RegGuy
      10 years ago

      Whateva.

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  • forever_anon
    10 years ago

    It's not that unusual for people to start talking about having children shortly after getting married, but usually these are people who knew for a long time that they wanted kids one day. There isn't much room for compromise on this issue, so if I were you, I would proceed with caution. Only become a parent if you truly want to, not because someone else wants you to (yes, even if that someone is your spouse. Both people have to want it).

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    • auburnsin
      10 years ago

      Thank you for your advice.

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      • forever_anon
        10 years ago

        You're welcome, and best of luck to you in whatever you decide!

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Marriage is never a guarantee that the person you marry will stay exactly the same as the day you married them. It's natural for people to change and evolve. Hopefully you will evolve together instead of apart.

    You and your wife should give it a lot of consideration and discussion about what your roles and responsibilities will entail as parents before going ahead.

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    • auburnsin
      10 years ago

      Oh she is the Love of my life. I spent years looking for her. Till death do us part. My vow to her, God and the witnesses. We will grow together for we are united. One day at a time.

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  • New__Devide
    10 years ago

    This is something only you and your wife can decide. If you both want kids then do it if not, then give it a couple more years time to make certain it's not just a phase of hers or yours. If you remain on the stance that you don't want kids after those 2 years then you shouldn't give up your desires and personal happiness just to please someone else (Your wife, in-laws, or whoever else would want you to have kids). Only become a parent if both people are in agreement. Kids are a lifetime committment, not 18-21 years so please think it through carefully.

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    • auburnsin
      10 years ago

      Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it.

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  • Elhandro
    10 years ago

    i know you didn't wanted to have kids only because u wanted to enjoy a happy sex life, en i think for four years you must have had it enough by now..
    Its now time to safeguard your marriage, am sure you are going to be more happy and proud to see your own biological offspring and it'll make you feel more of a responsible man than just a confused boy!!
    It'll make you earn respect that atlist you are a father of somebody!!
    You are going to find it more impotant to guard your marriage,and that would be a reason for u to minimise relationship distress...
    It is so rediculous that a woman reliased such a wisdom before a whole man like you!!

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    • auburnsin
      10 years ago

      Its not about the sex, sure its nice but that does not make our marriage. Our marriage Is more than that. RoseIsabella's response made me fall more in Love with my wife. Ha ha Amazing.
      The thing is the sudden change. Like Ice water poured on me. Was a shock. I love my wife. If this is not a phase then I will honor my wife and we will discuss this further.

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  • Pakulu_Papito_Poppadom
    10 years ago

    My advice wud be to hav sex wiv me

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  • linchpin
    10 years ago

    decide or divide

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  • tripw7
    10 years ago

    My wife and I had two great kids. We agreed before we got married that if we had kids, we would have just two. It worked out to our plan. If my wife or myself ever mentioned that we would not have kids, that is what I would accept. For your wife to say after you are married that now she has changed her mind and wants to have kids is not fair to you in any way. This puts you on the bad side of her change in a decision that both of you made before you were married.
    You will probably not resolve this one without a consultation with a marriage consular. Good luck.

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    • Bitmap
      4 years ago

      I disagree. People change their minds all the time. Marriage is for a long time. That person wont be the same person you married by the end of it. That doesnt have to be a bad thing.

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    • auburnsin
      10 years ago

      I appreciate your response. I believe RoseIsabella helped me greatly. I love my wife and I will do whatever it takes to honor her. One day at a time. Slowly but surely.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    After a 4 year relationship, two months and a week into the marriage she does a 180 on kids? I think you are in deep shit, dude. I'm really sorry, but it seems you have made a terrible mistake and perhaps have no idea who this person you are married to is, or what her agenda is.
    I could see this sort of thing happening after a few years or so of marriage, but 2 months?
    If I were you, I'd be seriously be freaking out, right about now.

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    • auburnsin
      10 years ago

      HA hA was like getting out of the hot tub and jumping into a cold swimming pool. ha ha

      I love my wife. She is my world my everything. I respect and honor my wife, we will discuss this further.

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  • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!
    10 years ago

    She trapped you man. I've been there, leave for a gallon of milk and never return...

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    • auburnsin
      10 years ago

      HA HA she'd track me down. HA HA

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