Is it normal to break up now that he will have full custody?
I have dated a man for nearly six years; he lives in a town not far away, so we see each other mostly on weekends. We met when my kids were pre-teens/young teens. He had a four-year-old from a previous relationship. I made it clear that I would not marry until my youngest was off to college. He enjoyed the benefits of a no strings relationship. At first we attempted to blend the families; I had real trouble bonding with his son who was slow, unimaginative, and lazy; he would do embarrassing things at home or when we were in public. We soon realized we both were too unstable and immature relationship-wise so we stopped doing family things and settled for just us. My kids were hanging out with friends, so it did not affect them. I was relieved not to have to spend time with his kid. Later he wanted me to accompany him with his son to the zoo and vacations--I could not bear to do so because in all the time I raised my own kids from toddlerhood with no child support, I never took them places I could not afford. I did not want to share those happy memories with a kid I couldn't really stand. I went on one vacation to the coast and it was miserable. NOW he will be getting custody of the kid because his lazy mom is getting married and the kid said he did not like the man, so the mom said fine, he could just stay with his dad. My last child goes off to college next year, just as my boyfriend will take full custody of the kid. I feel like I should just cut my losses and leave. I don't want anything to do with this kid. I feel as if I hate him. I do not want to give him all the benefits that my own kids never got--especially having two parents in the home. I feel guilty, but I feel like after raising my own kids I should not have to get on that ride again, especially with a kid I do not like. Is it normal to just want to end it all because of a kid? Is it normal to hate a kid that I should supposedly love just because I love his dad? Is it normal to just dump someone you love after years just because life has changed dramatically?